Full of Joy

Poop

2009-07-18T11:51:00.002-05:00

Monkey has had this obsession with poop as of late, or at least talking about poop. 'I poop on your head.' has become his favorite little quip. I didn't mind so much until he started telling the check out lady at Walmart, the waitress at the catfish joint, and so on. I started trying to curve this poop talk. I explained that we can only talk about poop when we are talking about actually going poop in the potty. He understood this quite well and started saying, 'I don't poop on your head I poop in the potty, but can put it on your head.' Okay, plan B. Now I tell Monkey he can only talk about poop if he really needs to go poop, but after a few days of lots of sitting on the pot when he didn't need to go so he could talk about poop I changed to plan C.

I decided that in the spirit of a true homeschool mom we were going to go with it. So I have officially started a poop study with Monkey. I had a book that my mother-in-law brought me called, 'Who pooped in the Park?' from Yellowstone National Park. It is all about tracking animals by their poop, and learning about their nature through their scat. My brother sent me the website WHO POOPED? at just the right time, which my son has gotten endless enjoyment out of. We have also studied our bodies, how God created them just perfect, and God's perfect plan for poop-yeah it really is His perfect plan. We have even talked about the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18:27 where Elijah taunting the prophets of Baal asks if he is preoccupied, which some say should be translated, 'is your god sitting on the pot-going poop?' (go here forward to -13:20, good stuff).

It worked, we are still talking about poop, but our talk has become a little more sophisticated than pooping on peoples heads.

Condemnation

2009-07-10T12:56:00.000-05:00

I have been reading this book called 'How to Really Love Your Child.' By D. Ross Campell, M.D.

It is a great book, more about parenting instead of just discipline. You know how it is, every book on 'parenting' is really on how to discipline your kids, but we all know there is more right? Well, this book focuses on the more, the how to show your kids love. It is a book that has come highly recommend to me by mother's I hold in high regard. I would recommend it, it really is an excellent book. This blog isn't actually about the book however.

I am reading this book and come upon this sentence in regard to using harsh tones with our children, 'We are truly setting up ourselves and the child for horrific problems in the future.' I read this and literally shut the book, and thought 'There it is. Proof I am doing a horrific job. Just what I thought all along.' It took me about a day to walk, and talk, through this. This was self condemnation, it wasn't from anyone else, it wasn't the authors intent, and it certainly wasn't from the Lord. It is so hard for me not to feel guilty 100% of the time about what I could be doing as a mother. I am not a horrific mother, but I do have room for improvement. This is hard for me, looking at my weaknesses without over focusing on them. Jesus didn't do this did he? Over focus I mean. He said, 'Go and sin no more.' No judgment, just a simple, 'Great you figured out your problem, now stop."

So here is your reminder that God's grace is big enough to cover motherhood, because I needed one recently:
'He tends is flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart: He gently leads those that have young.' Isaiah 40:11

Disneyland

2009-07-09T14:29:00.001-05:00

We went to Disneyland last month, it was incredible. We love Disney man, I mean we LOVE IT! There were 14 of us altogether, 7 adults 7 children. We went a few years ago for my mother's 60th birthday, and this year since my brother and his family are moving (go here to learn more), my parents and other brother took us all for a big trip. I can't tell you how blessed I am to have a family that all loves hanging out, we have so many laughs, jokes, and good times. This is what I will miss the most about my brother's family moving. I have to share a few pictures, what kinda mom would I be if I didn't? :)This is my family in front of the castle, notice the man who up until 2 years ago refused to go to Disney sporting the Mickey ears. Love ya Babe!

Cousins making memories!

Love this picture! More cousins making memories!

I totally got sick on the teacups this year, which stinks. I kept saying, 'I don't feel really good, I don't feel good.' To which my empathetic husband says, 'Oh you will be fine.' as he continues to turn that teacup as fast as he can. My sweet son Monkey says, 'You better slow down Dad, you better slow down.' with his little face plastered against the inside of the teacup. Good stuff! :)

Smiley in the stroller, loving life. You are never to young to love Disney!

I love that my girls will go straight from this...

to this! Never to old to be a princess at Disney!

The Pacifier

2009-07-08T13:57:00.002-05:00

I take Smiley for his two year old well child check up a week ago (and he actually stayed well after the well child-miracle!). My Dr. is asking about his speech, which certainly isn't ahead of the game, but mom isn't really concerned over yet. She tells me she thinks I need to take the pacifier away.

"Yeah, I am not going to do that." I reply.

She gives me a somewhat stunned look, which kinda shocks me because I know not every mom follows her advice to a t, but I assume they all smile and say okay and then just defiantly disobey the pediatricians advice.
"It's really time, I did it when my daughter turned two." Dr. urges me.
"Yeah, you have one kid this is my third, a bit longer with the pacifier isn't really a big deal to me. He will loose it eventually." I stand my ground.
"Hmm, when do you think a good time is?" She replies
"I was thinking like 3. I don't mind limiting it before then though." I am now bartering for my child's pacifier.
"Okay, only at bedtimes, don't offer it to him, and we both agree by 3 right? But if he seems to be weaning before then I expect you to take advantage of that and get rid of it sooner, agreed?" Dr. counters.
"Agreed, as long as we aren't switching anything else like beds, potty training, new sibling, etc. Agreed." She just laughs at me.
Smiley, you owe me one.

Training what?

2009-07-06T15:59:00.005-05:00

Spunky's body is a lot like mine was at her age, long and lean. This means we have two options, wear clothes to short-not good, or wear things long enough but a little loose on top. I guess there is a third option, but that would entail me figuring out how to read a pattern and thread a machine-as much as I admire those of you who do this-that is not going to happen anytime soon. So we go with the fit in length, but run a little loose on top option. This hasn't been an issue until this year, when she was wearing a few sundresses and I started thinking they seemed a bit inappropriate. Unable to put my finger on exactly what was making me feel it was inappropriate, I decided she needed to start wearing a cami, or tank underneath some things. The girl however is notoriously hot no matter what, and this was making her sweat a little to much. I decide what she needed was a half under tank top.

We go to the undie, undershirt section at Walmart, scouring the aisle for the 'half under tank top' section. There isn't one. Spunky pulls out a package with a picture of a girl wearing exactly what I am picturing as a half under tank top, and says 'this mom?' With a sweat little grin that makes that dimple look like the grand canyon. I look at the picture, 'Yeah that is it, where did you find them?' Spunky replies, 'In the training bra section!' That can't be, no not my baby girl, that is not what I am looking for, no...I did NOT come to Walmart to buy a training bra, no sir-where in the world is the HALF UNDER TANK TOP section!?!?!?!

Apparently, I went to Walmart to buy a training bra.

After a long lecture on how she didn't really need a training bra, and how she didn't have to wear it under everything, and how we were really only buying them as half under tank tops..I stopped myself and realized I was screwing this whole moment up. No matter why we were buying them, we were buying them, and I wanted to celebrate with her. I quickly changed gears, gave her a hug, and asked if she was excited. She replied 'YES!' I told her how exciting I thought it was she was growing up, how proud I was of her and the little lady she was becoming, how not just her body was changing but how I could see mature changes in her spirit, and attitude. We paid, then rushed over to where her daddy was working to show him. He handled it like a champ-a little unnerved, but told her what a beautiful princess she is none the less.

One down, many more to come.

I'll have Fruit Loops

2009-07-06T14:22:00.003-05:00

'Time for lunch', Me. 'Ummm, I'll have Fruit Loops!' Monkey 'Me, Me, Me' Smiley (this is pretty much his response to anything Monkey says).

Some days I feel like giving up the food battle, and just dishing out the Fruit Loops for 3 meals a day. I mean, there are green loops right? Never mind that I don't even buy Fruit Loops, or much other junk for that matter, it is a battle in my house at every meal. If not Monkey, then Spunky is upset. Today it was that she saw me sweetening her oatmeal with Agave Nectar instead of sugar, something I have been doing for months now under radar. Once she sees it however it is all over. She ate Annie's Mac and Cheese for a year before she discovered I had shunned the Kraft. She was LOVING it, eating it all up and begging for more, until she saw I had switched. She hasn't ate it without complaint for a few years now-and it just isn't worth the argument for me, so no mac and cheese in the house.

The lady I get my veggie co-op from gives her kids a salad every meal, they have to eat it before anything else. I ask her how she does it and she tells me if I give my kids no other options then they will eat it. I ask her if any of her kids have ever thrown up on their plates from her making them eat something. I get a strange look and shake of the head no. Feeling oddly relieved I think, 'Well then don't tell me what my kids will or won't do until you have cleaned off a dinner plate full of puke, okay?'

I want to feed my family healthy, I would LOVE it if my kids ate veggies all the time. I have made many a change, grinding my own wheat, no sugar cereals, Agave Nectar to sweeten, venison for red meat, flax seed daily, fruit smoothies for snacks, but sometimes feel so stressed under the burden of healthy eating. I am just trying to find a balance for us. Good healthy food I can feel good about feeding my children, but not getting so caught up in the 'health' craze that I am stressing out all the time.

Still, I might just crack and buy a bag of Fruit Loops next time I am at the store. Do they have organic Fruit Loops?

New blog

2009-04-15T09:45:00.003-05:00

Man I miss you guys. Between stomach viruses and computer problems, I haven't been able to blog in a while. I'm afraid I am going to have to bounce you again today...seeing how this computer could shut me out at any moment. Check out my brother's new blog HERE! Him and his family are preparing to move to Rwanda next fall...cool stuff!

Pray my computer gets fixed, I have to many blogs jumbling up this little head of mine! Well, I am off to wipe poop, the story of an RNmom.

School Choice Made Easy

2009-03-25T14:47:00.002-05:00

It said everything so well, I had to post it. Written by, Wade HulcyPresident of KONOS, Inc. www.konos.com

'School Choice Made EasyPreface:
A homeschooling mother wrote in to seek advice on convincing her reluctant husband to embrace homeschooling for their children, not just tolerate it.

I would love to speak to your husband in a nice, gentle way. I have had a 24 year head-start on him so I can share from true experience.If your hubby is a believer, have him look at Deut. 6:6&7 and have him tell you how you are going to teach your children when they RISE UP, when they SIT, when they LIE DOWN, and when they WALK BY THE WAY if they are gone from the home all day long. How can a Godless school system honor Psalms when the Bible says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom?" THE LORDIS NOT INVITED, BY LAW, TO COME INTO A GOVERNMENT SCHOOL IN AMERICA TODAY.
Back in 1980 Jessica and I went to a kindergarten Christmas program at our local elementary school. Our eldest was attending that school. (God was already preparing me for homeschooling although I had never heard of it at the time). I sat there that night and watched 50 little energetic, blondheads bounce up and down and sing Christmas songs. What the Lord put into my mind that very night was, "What happens in our schools over the next 12years where many of these cute little innocent girls will be pregnant, half of the boys will be on drugs, 3 will commit suicide, all will be able to curse like sailors, 80% will sleep with someone, and most will despise their parents by the time they walk across that proverbial stage. "Most will never measure up to their parents' in SAT scores and all will know more about AIDS and alternative lifestyles than we know. OUCH! Men, WHAT ARE WE THINKING?
I love the verse from Proverbs that says "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of child." Why allow your children to run with and act like a bunch of "fools," aka children, up at the local school whether public or private? Solomon tells us "He that would be wise walks with wise men, but thecompanion of fools suffers harm." The companion of what? That's right,fools. What is another name for fools in Proverbs? That's right, CHILDREN! What loving father would ever tell his little first grader, "Jeremy or Jennifer, I am dropping you off at the local school? They will teach you all you need to know. I will see you at your high school graduation. Hope everything goes well. Call me if you need something." You bet they will teach them everything they need to know and a whole boat load of things you don't want them to know!! Wow! What a scary thought!!! Men, WHAT ARE WETHINKING?
We are giving our children over to a part of the government and essentially saying, "Take my little kids and train them. Give them back to me in 12 years as functioning adults." Is 12 years of public school the absolute best we can do for our first graders? Have we not seen and heard about the product our government schools are producing? Men, WHAT ARE WE THINKING?
Here is a game to play. Write down the character traits, education, dress,faith, and lifestyle you want your children to possess when they are 22years old. Now write down what type of training and preparation will bestput these things into their bodies, minds, and spirits.
PUBLIC PRIVATE HOME SCHOOL
Next, write down all of the good things you want your kids to experience:Prom, cheerleading camp, football team, debate club, etc. Where can these activities be experienced?
PUBLIC PRIVATE HOMESCHOOL
Next, write down the bad things that can occur in each of these different educational environments. Which choice can best shelter your kids from these ills?
PUBLIC PRIVATE HOME SCHOOL
Next, write down the most important attribute you want your 22 year old model citizen to possess. Considering this one, most important trait,skill, or attribute; what school choice can best inculcate that trait inyour child?
PUBLIC PRIVATE HOME SCHOOL
Examine your results and make a determination regarding rational decision-making what the best educational choice is for your children. One note of caution: if you want your kids to evangelize to the lost in the public schools, you must be pretty worried about the lost at your localschool. Very noble. Question: Are you working now with local organizationslike Young Life and Fellowship of Christian Athletes that reach out to school kids and share the Gospel with the lost? If your answer is like mine, which is, "No," why are you sending your children to do such an important job when you have not gone yourself? The parents should be doing the evangelizing, not the kids. Our children should be watching and learning from us, "The student shall become like his teacher." The reality is, more Christian kids are lost in our government schools than they ever save. Satan is winning that battle and he is a tough adversary,particularly on his own turf!Men, we cannot take a few positives that occur in group school settings,both public and private, and allow them to so outweigh all of the negatives of group school and make a decision which defies logic and runs counter to reason in the light of the clear record of the three dominant educational choices we have.
More than that, we need to re-read Psalm 6:6-7 and quietly ask the Lord if He is speaking to us as we lead our families. We need to besaying, "Lord. You know I love my children. I would do anything to protect them from harm. Help me to make decisions for each of my children in the light of Scripture and Your teachings. Give me wisdom as I work with my wife to do the best possible thing with my children, training them to love and serve You."

Hope this helps,
Wade HulcyPresident of KONOS, Inc. www.konos.com'

Good stuff! Even if you can't homeschool, single moms etc., be very aware of the spiritual battle taking place on the school front for your children's minds and souls. Be guiding them daily in the ways of the Lord. Be involved, watch, listen, talk, and talk some more. Remember this is the job that you are more accountable to than any other job you have. If you save the world, but lose your own, have you done what the Lord has asked of you?

Flowers from God

2009-03-09T00:06:00.000-05:00

My sister-in-law was going through her list of needs with God the other day. She got to the end of the list, and she made a request.
'Lord, I know this isn't a need, but I would really love yellow pansies in my front flower pots-you know they are my favorite.'

A few hours later, she is sitting in her van in a parking lot when I truck pulls up beside her, a man knocks on her window and says, 'Do you want any flowers? I have a truck load here to give away.'

She says sure, thanks. He opens the back of his van, and it is full of flowers. Of course there are pansies-yellow ones even. She takes some, he says to take some more, she looks around, not wanting to take more than her share, but no one else is there. So she takes all of the yellow pansies. She thanks the man repeatedly, gets back in her car, and see a group of women unloading the rest of the flowers from the van. Where did they come from?

As tears build in her eyes, she says, 'Girls, I just got flowers from God.'

Cloth Update

2009-03-07T00:16:00.001-06:00

I did start using some cloth diapers again. When we are home, I am on it-not so much when we are out and about.

Even cloth diapers aren't our mothers old rags anymore. They have evolved. For the most part I use the one size Mother-ease diapers. They are a snap system, that works well, and you can adjust the size as they grow. When the kids are older, I use Mother ease snap in liners. This system is great, but my favorite are Mother-ease Sandy diapers. These look so cozy, and are virtually leak free. I use the snap covers as well, I had to much trouble with the velcro going bad, and well since I don't sew they were just ruined. Nope, not our mother's old rag and pins anymore folks!

Twaddle

2009-03-05T23:38:00.001-06:00

I am outraged. My son loves Beatrix Potter, specifically "The Tale of Tom Kitten' I have the little book, which we read often, and we check out others every time we are at the library. We know them well to say the least, and have a fond place in our hearts for their stories. The other day my son excitedly ran in carrying a large book with a collection of Potter's work that someone gave Spunky when she was born. My children prefer the little books, how wise Ms. Potter was to demand they be bound for little hands, but he was excited none the less to have found such a treasury. We sit down to read, and what do you know they have been DUMBED DOWN!! Twaddle is what they were. Twaddle is Charlotte Mason's term for books (or information) that is dumbed down and insults the child's intelligence. Why? Why would they do this? One of the things I love about Potter's works are the rare, yet delightful, words that fill my children's ears as we read them. I am always astounded at how they love these stories at such young ages with such wonderfully difficult wording.

Here are some of the words used in 'The Tale of Tom Kitten.' (that my 3 year old son not only loves but can quote):

tumbled

expected

fetched

pinafores

tuckers

elegant

uncomfortable

unwisely

frocks

unsteadily

presently

trod

rockery

degrees

difficulties

descended

advanced

manner

various

articles

affronted

contrary

extraordinary

disturbed

dignity

repose

Thank you Ms. Potter, for expecting no less than intelligence from my little ones.

The Video

2009-03-04T22:54:00.002-06:00

I know they are designed to convince us to buy something, I mean I REALLY know this in my head, but I feel the need to sit on my hands with every infomercial I see. First it was the Shark, oh how I wanted my floors to be that clean so easily, and then it was the omelet maker, I just never could do an omelet on my own. This year I caved, I bought the Melt it Off Video set, telling myself it was okay because I didn't really believe my entire body would be completely different in 5 days, I did need a good work out video to help with my 2009 resolution, and these were pretty inexpensive (if I called in the next 10, 9, 8, minutes). I took the plunge, got off my hands, and made the call, and to my own delight, have actually been using them.

Work out video's themselves are a riot to me. There is just something funny about jumping around in your living room by yourself why some non-sweating, full of breath, fitness instructor tells you you are doing a good job, which of course he doesn't even know. I used to believe them. Once I was doing a dance video, thinking I had the rumba and the salsa down, believing their comments 'That's it girl, you got it, groove it off!' I just happened to have full length mirrors in the back of my living room, when I turned to see my sizzling dance off, I was affronted with a drenched, seizing, asthmatic, gawkish women who definitely did NOT 'have it'.

Now I talk back, yep I let'em have it. It goes a little something like this,
'You might need a little water about now.' Video
(Me getting back from filling up my bottle for the 3rd time since I started this video 15 minutes ago), 'You think Mitch? You think? Glad you reminded me.'

'Don't forget to breath now, breath.' Video
'Really? What would I do without you rocket scientist?' Me

'Okay, that was the warm up." Video
'The WHAT? Where are you trying to warm me up for? HELL?' Me

'You should start to feel the burn about now.' Video
'START? I hate you, I hate you!'

'Just one more set, you are stronger than you think you are!' Video
'No, I most certainly am not.' Me, perched on the couch for the last 15 minutes of the workout, because somehow if I watch the whole thing I might be able to actually DO the whole thing some day, right?

Schedule Cleaning

2009-02-25T13:20:00.005-06:00

So my funny little story (go here) about scheduling housework brought a few questions. Turns out people DO want to know how I have a handle on the housework these days, so to those who have emailed me, this is for you.

I started scheduling a chore a day. Pretty simple, but I resisted this idea for some time. I do enjoy a completely clean house, and was afraid that it would never feel clean. I am not one of those stay at home moms who adores the chores (say 'she's a poet and didn't know it' here), which is the other reason I resisted-chores everyday, UGH?!?! As it turns out, the house was never getting fully cleaned, well unless guest were on their way over and I turned into Mommy dearest, barking orders, scrubbing in a frenzy, and being pooped by the time they got here. It also turned out that a mother of 3 has to do chores everyday regardless. I was resistant to the schedule, but it turned out my stress at the mess (I am cracking myself up with the poetry in a prose going on) got the upper hand. I was willing to try anything. This is what I came up with:

Sunday-plan meals and shop
Monday-Clean bathrooms
Tuesday-Kid's Laundry and Vacuum
Wednesday-Sweep/mop, and scrub kitchen
Thursday-Parents clothes
Friday-Dust and Vacuum
Saturday-Wash Dad's Work clothes, Sheets, Towels

Spunky's daily chores correlate-Monday she cleans mirrors in bathroom, Tuesday she separates kids laundry, Wednesday she cleans windows and doors, Thursday she folds socks, and Fridays she dust blinds. That way we work together side by side, I can help her if she needs it, and it makes it more fun for both of us. If we get off a day, we just catch up the next.

What I have found is I am spending less time cleaning, have a cleaner house more of the time, and less stress over the mess!

Memory

2009-02-18T01:28:00.000-06:00

I was watching my sweet 20 month old do something extremely cute the other day, which could have been about anything, and I started to panic. I couldn't 'see' Monkey at that age in my minds eye. I searched and searched, and thought and thought, and I just couldn't see it like it was there. I pray for a good memory, I try to sit back and enjoy them at every age, but I forget so quickly. The funny questions, the intriguing comments, the sly remarks, and cute grins. I want to remember them all like they happened today. But they didn't happen today did they. At least I am enjoying them while I can.

(Home movie night for me :)

Adoption

2009-02-16T00:36:00.002-06:00

'If 7% of Christians of adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world. '

The Lord had already placed adoption on our hearts before I read this statistic. Sitting in a small group, listening to a missionary from China speak of the babies dying in orphanages there, my husband and I felt the pull. That was over 2 years ago. We were ready to move, then the Lord surprised me (He knows I love surprises) with Smiley. Adoption was put on hold. When Smiley was 15 months old, I started researching again. I had heard it could take 2 or 3 years, so we wanted to get the ball rolling. I began my research in China, but the Lord firmly shut that door. I went through country after country, but none seemed the right fit. I spoke with some trusted friends that work at the local Children's Hospital, and we decided to move forward with DHS.

We went to the initial meeting, which was very discouraging. They basically rolled their eyes at us because we wanted a younger, under 2, baby, without fostering. A DHS worker gave me a number and said 'Call them they have younger kids sometimes.' So I did. I was more than shocked, and dismayed at the discovery that phone call would lead to.

It was a crisis pregnancy center. I was simply being polite, answering the woman's questions, thinking that this really wasn't why I was doing this. Everyone wants a newborn right? I hadn't even considered this an option. Sadly, what I found out was that everyone, or at least most people, only want a white baby. Crisis pregnancy centers (and I have spoken to many now) are desperate for families willing to adopt out of their race. These women are coming to Christian centers, wanting to do the right thing-give this baby life, but knowing that they simply can't be a mom at this time, and guess what......there is no one to take them. We preach pro-life, but we don't help with the solution.

It would only take 7% of us, 7%. Would there be a financial issue if the other 93% got behind the 7%? Lord forgive us.

'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.' James 1:27

Cloth Diapers

2009-02-15T00:21:00.000-06:00

If you didn't find me out there enough (with my bread baking and all) I use to use cloth diapers, and I am considering starting again. I used them faithfully with Spunky. That is until I called my friend who had introduced me to the concept of cloth, in tears due to 6 months of my daughters 12 poopy diapers a day. She said, 'Switch, she is sick, it's to much, switch.'

Then I used them for the first year of Monkey's life, that is until I was pregnant and working. I think that explains that. Not so much on Smiley-only when I had forgotten a pack at the store.

Why am I hankering to cloth the little ones up again? There is something very rewarding in it. People ask if it is a hassle to wash, and fold. I give you that the getting to the washer isn't the most delightful task in the world, but I LOVE to fold cloth diapers. Please understand I love to fold nothing else, but it is so sweet to fold those soft, cushy things that hold your babies bum. I love to hold a baby with a big ol' cloth diaper on. It is so squishy, and sweet. I cringe every time I drop $50 a month on diapers, and I am tired of pushing the '1 TON of waste per baby in diapers alone' statistic out of my head. I love the natural feel too-the greenness of it, better for baby, better for the earth, better on the pocket...why still reconsidering you ask? Hmm, good question.

Lars and the Real Girl

2009-02-13T23:48:00.000-06:00

I love finding an obscure film that is delightful to the extreme. Unfortunately, this means sitting through hours of not so great, and mostly down right horrible, movies. I sit through all of them, because something in me won’t turn the machine off. This is the same thing that causes me to painstakingly grudge through pages and pages of novels that are holding my attention about as well as watching cspan or listening to talk radio. Maybe it is a personality quirk, maybe I feel I owe it to the person who created it, more than likely I feel I owe it to their mother, you know one mom to another mom letting her show off her kids kind of a thing. Whatever it is, mixed with the need to discover a butterfly in a world of seaweed, it has caused me to spend a considerable amount of time tangled up to my head wondering at this unrelenting chase. It seems that just when I am about to give up, a hint of color appears on the horizon, and my fuel is renewed.

I almost didn’t chase down this hint of color, I almost let it fly beyond my reach. But somehow Lars and The Real Girl kept appearing on my computer screen taunting me to push the ‘add to queue’ button. I read the summary more times than I care to admit. Ryan Gosling, okay I can do that, but buys a life size doll, and falls in love with her? I’m out. Eventually, feeling assured by the rating and summary that this was not some weird -you know what-kind of a movie, my curiosity got the upper hand, and convincing myself that nothing could be worse than Margot at the Wedding, which I had diligently labored through all the time wondering what point they were trying to make, or if they were trying to be so ultra creative that they went for the no point is the point plot.

I had heard nothing of Lars and the Real Girl, knew no one who had seen it, and had read no reviews-just the way I like it. I strategically planned Lars’s arrival. I was fairly certain this would prove to be another night of head nodding, sighing, and clock gazing. I knew a perfect night would be a night without the husband, who in no uncertain terms does not share my obligation to the artist, or their proud mothers, and would no doubt head to the other room at the first mention of a life size doll. With a couch full of laundry to fold, a diet dr. pepper, and the kids in bed, I began yet another leg in my chase.

Lar’s and the Real Girl proved to be a jewel in the coal mine, the butterfly in the seaweed if you will. It was a heart-warming story of love, not Lars’s love for the doll, but the love of his family and the community he was in. It was a story of the complexity of the human psyche, not just Lars’s mind, but the minds of those around him. It was a story of friendship, acceptance, family, church and grief. My emotions were all over the place, sadness, joy, laughter, tears, but most of all excitement. Excitement at the discovery of a captivating movie with such a unique portrayal of the art of true human relationship. If you are a faithful box office hit viewer, an occasional dvd renter, or a fellow butterfly chaser; Lars and the Real Girl will do more than satisfy the need to check out of reality for a few hours, it will, quit simply put, entertain.

Classic Introductions

2009-02-12T23:54:00.000-06:00

You all know we moved. What you don't know is that God blessed us with some amazing neighbors, the kind that share the same love of God, family, and country that we do. That seem to have some of the same hobbies, and interest (even the same paintings in our houses-weird). The kind that-God willing- plan on being there forever, and us here forever..so we will probably end up attending our children's weddings, and gawking at pictures of the others grandkids.

I hadn't had the chance to meet the man of their house, most of the children, the wife, but not the dad. My husband had talked to him at great length, but not me. His kids were over playing the other day. Mom was on her sanity break, so dad came by to round up his kids.

'Hi, nice to meet you finally. Looking for your kids? They are in here playing.' We walk into my daughters room as he says,
'Figured it was time to come get them, are you guys just loving it here?'
'Oh yes, it is....' BLAAUUGHH-this is the sound of Monkey vomiting all over the floor, curtains, clothes, rug, not 3 feet from my freshly introduced neighbor.

Why does my life feel like a Saturday Night Live skit? He handled it like a charm, apologizing that I had to deal with it, telling me his son had had it recently, asking if I needed anything, and gathering up his children quickly and showing himself out. That is what I call a 'Classic Introduction.'

What's that siren?

2009-02-11T23:24:00.002-06:00

For those of you that do not live in tornado alley, I would like to present you with a day in the life of those of us who do.

We woke up to a beautifully sunny day. We rush around, drop off Spunky at drama, and meet my sweet sis-in-law at a lake nearby for a long walk with the boys, and a bunch of chatter. The day is so wonderful, blues skies abounding, that this spontaneous homeschool mom makes a suggestion of the zoo. We have been reading books with foxes, vultures, and owls of late. We also did a study on 'Make Way for Ducklings' by Robert McCloskey where we discovered that he had actually purchased 2 mallard ducks, brought them home to his apartment, and followed them around for days. This had prompted a few sketches of our new kitties, but a trip to the zoo was in order.

I pick up Spunky, grab some lunch (and sketch paper and pencil), and head out to the zoo. Now most days I don't really get a chance to watch TV, but my brother had asked if I thought we would beat the storm in. My sis and I both thought the storm was due late, and there was not 1 cloud in sight, not 1 I tell you. So I assure my brother we will be fine, and off we go to discover the animals.

As we were enjoying Smiley squealing and jumping up and down for joy at seeing the animals, a few gray clouds poked their heads over the trees. We discussed that we were probably going to get rained on, but since the temperature was perfect we could live with a little water. Besides the ideal temp, the animals were all in a furry, sensing the storm I suppose. The wolves were running in crazy circles, the coyotes were pacing, the lions were all out prowling, and the bears were wrestling, It was incredible to watch, not that normal sleeping animal trip to the zoo. We got to the grizzlies, who were so close we were giddy, and what do you know but the tornado siren erupts. I look at my sis, she looks at me, we look at the sky, I laugh.

A zoo worker comes out and tells us to go on in the building we are beside, which I was thankful for since I really needed to pee. Spunky and Monkey get a little concerned, I assure them we are safe, and after finding out the building we were in was made of 20 tons of concrete with reinforced iron bars, dug into a hill, with concrete rock on top, I told them we might just visit the zoo ever stormy day. The sirens stop-we decide it best to head home. We get half way to the entrance when the siren erupts again. I herd the children into the Pachyderm building, which was now housing every large animal, so you can imagine the smell. I find some workers with a TV, the tornado is nowhere near us, so we make a break and head to the cars.

We did some 'crisis planning' homeschool on the way home, after my daughter called to make sure her daddy was alright (wink, wink). I didn't see a drop of rain at my house for 4 more hours, my parents who live not 10 minutes from me had homes around the block hit by the tornado, and friends not 15 minutes from me were in their tubs under mattresses for over 2 hours listening to hail and wind. That my friends, is a day in the life of an Okie.

You are a Ninja

2009-01-29T20:49:00.000-06:00

At a family dinner the other night, my sis-in-law commented on the bread I had made. My husband promptly replied, 'You made this bread? When did you do that?' Without missing a beat, my sis said, 'Ninja Homemaker.' Go read this oldie, but goodie by Eric's Wife!

All in a Day

2009-01-28T15:42:00.004-06:00

Well it happened again, the stark realization that I am not nearly as cool as I perceive myself to be. I was hanging with a friend the other night, a long time friend I hadn't seen in quite sometime. A friend that flits off to Taos on a whim, has the coolest new stark black hair, and gives me her hand me downs to keep me in last seasons styles. After a much over do night out, we were chatting it up in her impressive Ikea, with a touch of Pottery Barn, mix of a living room. I, being starved for female grown up conversation, was dominating the conversation. After a brief overview of work and the fam, I began to explain in precise detail my new and improved method for getting housework done. After explaining how I have switched from a flurry of crisis cleaning, to a scheduled cleaning method, I deemed it appropriate (as well as interesting) conversation to give her a day by day look of my housework.

'Mondays are bathrooms. Tuesdays kids clothes..ohoh..that is not all-vacuuming!! Can you believe it?!? I do 2 things in one day, yep kids clothes and vacuum.'
She politely replies something along the lines of, 'That's great tiff.' But did I stop, oh no, the week had just begun, 'uh, huh, yeah Wednesdays is clean the kitchen, and mop. Thursdays, oh what is Thursdays? See I have it written and posted...oh yeah, I remember, parent clothes. Fridays, dust and vacuum, Saturdays wash sheets towels, and work clothes. Sundays, plan out meals and grocery shop.'

You would think I would stop at the end of the week right? Nope, I continued on explaining my children's chores and how they correlated to mine, I explained how and when I do the items not on my list, folding, dishes etc, and what I do if I something comes up and I can't complete a days task. I stopped only short of telling her the brands of cleaning supplies I use. After completing my explanation of a day in the life of a housewife, she smiled ever so graciously and said, 'I am so proud of you. That is great!' It wasn't until I was about half way home I caught on to the absurdity of my dialogue, at which time I almost had to pull over due to the uncontrollable laughter.

The saddest part of the whole thing, I found the whole scheduled housework so interesting I had been planning on blogging about it. I really must get out more. So here's to long time friends that will sit through the most tedious of conversations, and here is to her doing it so you all don't have to!

Rising Early

2009-01-22T16:52:00.002-06:00

In my struggle to get it all done, I began praying in exasperation to the Lord. I felt the crazy need to go back and read Proverbs 31, this is what struck out at me-verse 15:

She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

EXCUSE ME?!?! Before dawn? I decided maybe some of the moms I respect, that seem to me to get it all done, would have better advice than the Lord did. So I started asking around, every single one of them told me everything in their families went better when they arose before everyone, had their personal time, and time with Jesus. Every one of them.

In the spirit of honesty, I am writing this in the afternoon, because I did NOT get up this morning. I have several days though, and the day does go better. I am more of a night owl than a morning person, so this goes against everything in me, but I am willing to give it a go for my family.

Reading the Bible

2009-01-21T23:49:00.000-06:00

The Lord placed this on my heart, probably four years ago (if you don't know a lot about living in grace, stick around:). Read His entire word. I made it to Exodus the first time, and Leviticus the second. I didn't try two of the years.

I heard a women speak recently who was oozing wisdom. She was just a sweet older women, sharing her thoughts on being a wife and mother, to those of us in the trenches. In her speech she told us where all her wisdom had come from, every year she read the Bible studying one specific topic. Her first year she was feeling desperate in her marriage, so she started on page one and underlined anything pertaining to being a good wife. This healed her marriage, and her heart so well, she continued it on. Every year a different topic. She knew THE answer to every question, not her own, but the Lord's. She was drowning in wisdom.

This is why I feel it is important for me to read the entire Bible,
1. It is the Truth I live by, teach my children, and share with others. All of my decisions are based upon what is in there.
2. The Lord thought it was worth writing, it must be worth reading.
3. I pray for wisdom all the time, and there it is right at my finger tips.
4. Do you know what people have done in order for us to be able to read the Word?
5. There are Christians around the world risking their lives to get a copy of this writing, I have about 6 different versions in the house, and who knows how many I can easily access online.
6. I am reader, God has made this a part of me, but I haven't read His full and complete work.
7. I love to teach others, but haven't read His full and complete work.
8. I am embarrassed that people against the Bible know it better than I do. I need to be fully equipped to defend this book.

I love grace, so I am not going to worry if it doesn't get done exactly in one year, but this time I am going to do it.

Exercising

2009-01-20T23:26:00.000-06:00

My first New Year's Resolution is pretty self explanatory, I need to get in shape. I was concerned about how to do this the right way, not which diet to be on, or which exercise routine to do, but how to honor my body as the Lord would have me to do. I can tend to get a little extreme about this. I start making numbers my idol, how many calories, what I weigh, how far I ran, how fast I ran, numbers numbers numbers. I really prayed through my motivations this time. I didn't want to start this out of guilt, or because I was loathing what I saw in the mirror-like I have in the past. I want to praise God for this body, while treating it as the temple that it is. Moderation can be difficult for me, but the Lord had shown me that when I walk in the boundaries He has set on my heart, then I can accomplish moderation.

I had gotten a little out of my boundaries, and was quickly under attack. To clarify, I LOVE sweets, LOVE LOVE LOVE them! I have trouble keeping this in check. It was an all or nothing type of love. When I was restricting myself from all of them, I felt so good about myself, so skinny, but this was false. I mean I could go without for one day and feel like a super model. My security was in my power to control my sweets, not in who I was in the Lord. If I was eating out of control I was living in guilt, and shame, under constant attack about my appearance. After praying through this, the Lord put it on my heart to only have 2 sweets a week. I thought this was impossible for me, but I did it for months and months. It was wonderful, I had no guilt or shame when I was eating a sweet-and therefore enjoyed it all the more-and I didn't place my self worth in what I was not eating. I got a little off track during the holidays, and the negative self talk crept back in. This was my first step, getting back in step with what He had told me to do. Don't you just LOVE grace. :)

Next boundary I felt the Lord telling me was to get rid of numbers, this is a challenge when trying to get healthy-which certainly involves loosing weight. I am not weighing, I am not counting calories, I am not making myself run a set amount or time. I am working out more days than not, and picking to eat from a few meals the Lord placed on my heart. I am asking the Lord to guide my choices each and every day. I ask Him to bless what I am putting in my mouth, if I get a check about asking for this blessing-then I stop to consider if this is really what I should be eating. I have no idea when these will change, but for now they are what I am suppose to do. It feels a bit weird, not weighing every morning, not tallying up my calories at the end of the day, but it feels good. It feels healthy, but most importantly, it feels honoring.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-19T22:11:00.000-06:00

I normally don't make New Year's resolutions. I could list a number of very convincing debates against them, such as-'If a change is to be made why wait till the New Year? You should do it immediately.' Truthfully it is probably more about everyone is doing it, and I enjoy going the route not traveled-or in simple terms REBELLION.

This year I decided to make a few. There were changes that needed to be made. Some things I wanted to accomplish. So on Jan 10th (I had to be a little different), I started my New Year's Resolutions.

1. Start exercising regularly again.
2. Read the entire Bible
3. Do both of these early in the morning, before my sweet sun rise watching children get up, that means crazy early folks, crazy!

A little cliche? Maybe, but I need to get them done. And now they are on my blog for the whole world to see, so if I fail-I fail publicly. Which hasn't really bothered me much before, but maybe will be a little bit of a motivator this time.

Well, HELLOOOO!

2009-01-18T23:02:00.002-06:00

Greetings dear friends! I trust everyone had a busy, fun filled, stress crammed holiday like ours. Since my last post we, quit suddenly and very unexpectedly, found a new house, packed, moved, painted-carpeted-cleaned the old house, unpacked, shopped, wrapped, cooked, baked, celebrated Christmas, 2 birthdays, New Years, worked, went on vacation, made major career changing decisions for hubby, started him back to school, and started kids back to school. You can see that blog did not make the list, but oh how I have missed it. This being our second week of school, I am hoping I can get a little more settled, as well as scheduled, and continue on here at Full of Joy. See you later this week!

Crock Potting

2008-12-15T22:36:00.003-06:00

I had promised to post some more of my easy breezy recipes didn't I? Well, we have been moving houses, for good reasons, but very unexpectedly (this explains the lack of blogging). During the move I made every phone call needed, phone, water, electric......all but one that is-gas. Since I now have a gas stove, (I know jealous aren't you?) I was left not only with no heat, but also with no form of cooking except my beloved crock pot.

Now many a friend has commented on how often I use my crock pot, but what is not to love people? Dinner done before breakfast, who doesn't love that? I was fortunate to remember a forward I got recently of another crock pot loving ladies blog.....and I have to admit she WAY surpasses me on the crock pot love. I made the easiest Chicken and Dumplings recipe - my hubby can't quit raving about - and it made the new house smell all homey and nice. Go check out crock pot lady here. Let me know your successes, and happy crock potting.

From my family to yours, Enjoy!

2008-12-10T20:52:00.001-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Our journey to the unknown

2008-12-05T13:13:00.006-06:00

Just like any other red blooded American I thought homeschooling was nuts. I thought kids needed to be in a room, at a desk, with 30 other students, just like everyone else does. This wasn't His plan. Whoever thinks life with God is boring simply isn't listening. My life with Christ has had more adventure than I care for at times, always exciting, and always challenging.

We talked private school for a bit, but I was to aware of the poor curriculum used in most private schools that pushes kids but doesn't really teach them better. My husband became convinced first that we should homeschool.
'Easy for him' I thought, 'he doesn't have to do most of the work.' I had my foot down-I was NOT going to homeshool. He simply started praying, and here we are.

The journey to our decision was led by the Holy Spirit, slowing changing my heart, and providing me with an answer to every question along the way. First we went to the Family Vision Workshop, something changed in the spiritual world that day, we had our vision and were ready to do what needed to be done to achieve it. Then my brother and his wife started homeshooling. This took a ton of the family scrutiny off-which was really big for me, I was tired of always bucking the system. Still when thinking about it, I felt an overwhelming since of responsibility. The Lord spoke to me about this, our children's education was ultimately OUR responsibility no matter where they were being educating. Then I became concerned about my working part time. A traveling nurse, pastors wife, homeschooling mom showed up on an unusually slow evening in the ICU to relieve those fears. I was worried that if I had to put my kids back in school for some reason it would be a horrible transition. Then I ran into a friend who had just put her children back in school-it was a smooth and easy transition. My daughter was in kindergarten and loving it, I was sure she would hate the idea. When I asked her what she would think if we homeschooled, she gave me a huge hug and started dancing around. Another one of God's ways of reassuring me; this was going to work out.

I was still a little timid. I loved the idea of more time with my kids. I missed my daughter those 3 hours of kindergarten, and hated the hour of questions it took to find out what had happened while she was gone. However, in my minds eye were the hair to the knees, denim jumper wearing, pretty noticeable unsocial children, and this was not what I wanted for my children. The Lord began to introduce me to delightfully normal children. These children were dressed normal, yet modest. They could play with their own age group, but shake my hand and answer my questions like a grown up. They loved on their siblings, obeyed their parents, read great literature, and looked normal. Most importantly, I saw in them a relationship with Jesus that was to be envied at such an early age. This is when I decided, no matter the sacrifice, I would do it.

About 2 weeks into my first year a dear friend called to see how it was going, since she to had ventured into the unknown. I said, ' I love this, I mean REALLY REALLY LOVE this!' See I was never expecting to enjoy it, but I had never felt so right about anything in my life. Are there hard days, sure. Do I ever think, 'Am I ruining them?' Yes. Do I worry about how I am going to get it all in, somedays. But then I go back to my list of scripture, I watch my kids interacting with each other, I snuggle on the couch for a good read, and discuss what is truly important with my children. At these times I know this is what I am suppose to being doing, and I know the rewards will be eternal.

Scriptures that encourage me in my homeschooling journey:

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 'And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.'

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 'Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well.'

Isaiah 40:11 'He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart: he gently leads those that have young.'

Matthew 6:34 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'

Proverbs 22:6 'Train up your child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.'

Q&A

2008-11-24T09:34:00.003-06:00

Let me reiterate what I said earlier, my goal here is not to convince anybody that this is the only way. We were called to this, but I do want to offer our side, cancel out a little judgment, and if there is someone who feels the Lord changing their hearts towards homeschooling, give them a little more info. I would like to answer the main questions I get. I might just start carrying cards with this website address on so I can just hand them out when asked!

What about socialization? Covered here

How are you going to teach Chemistry? (or biology, or physics, or any difficult subject you can think of)
The most humorous response, laced with a little bit of truth, is a man who asked back "do you not remember anything from you biology?' (in a shocking voice)
'No, that's my point, how are you going to teach it?' they reply
'Then I am confident I can do better than your teacher did!' Just a little joke people
This really doesn't concern me. I think if between my husband and me, we can't figure it out, we have a wide circle of friends with different talents we can call on. There are also homeschool co-ops, where the moms meet 2 days a week and share the hard subjects. There are video/computer courses (this kinda goes against all I believe in but still they are there). They can take it at a community college, did all of you have physics and chemistry in high school? Or you can hire a tutor. What I have heard is moms who struggle with something, and buy a great curriculum to help them teach it, end up finally understanding it for the first time in their life.

What about test? I covered that a little here, but you don't need them. If you feel they need to test, then write a test and give it. Once you are sitting there you won't feel it.

What about having your children be the light into the world at school?
I wondered this too. All I can say is this seems like a BIG order to place on a child. I mean I am just learning how to be a light. I think of that peer pressure example at church camp where one person stands on a chair and many stand around, they all try to pull on each other-which is easier? Many pulling one down. I don't isolate my children from public school kids, they can be the light at church, at karate, in the neighborhood, etc. But they have the benefit to stay home and be poured into until they are more secure in themselves and Christ to walk out what the Lord has for them.

What about college?
College all over are heavily recruiting homeshooled children. There are programs, and services to help you with a transcript. I have heard homeschooled children say they were better prepared to study on their own, took test better than their peers (despite only having taken the SAT before), and were more motivated to learn. The only issue I have heard is note taking, I plan to teach my kids how to do this, actually I had a class on this in high school that was extremely beneficial, so no matter where your kids go to school think about helping them with this.

Is this a long-term plan for your family, meaning up to college for each child?
When making this decision, I was stressing out about this. My sweet sis-in-law passed on a gem to me: Take it one year at a time. This made the decision so much easier, I could do 1st grade! I was also concerned with what if we did put them back in school, but I have met many moms who teach until high school and their children transitioned fine. I would love to, and hope, that I am called to do this all the way through.

'If so, how do you plan to account for differences in temperaments, learning styles, interests, etc., among your children? (I know, it sounds stupid when one teacher has 20 kids in a classroom, but that seems a lot different than wrangling my three banshees around a table.)'
Good question, it doesn't sound stupid. This is a huge benefit, and a huge challenge. I actually know my children's best learning style, this is nearly impossible for a teacher to know. The bigger children get the more independent in the learning so you can tailor this specific for each child. Young children need all learning styles, so we experiment, read, talk about, write, watch, etc. on every topic-this makes sure you cover all learning styles, while reinforcing the information. As for temperament, I have one child who sits and snuggles while we read, the other who builds a train set or tower of blocks while we read-whatever works for them. This is also a great time to teach character lessons, selflessness in order for a sibling to focus on their interest, patience (for the MOM! j/k) for helping one child grasp a concept she already has, and teaching a quite and gentle spirit. (most curriculum's you buy, if you get one, are designed to teach children of different ages)

What do you do with your little ones? Do they sit in and learn, or do you find activities appropriate for them to do?
I do different things at different times. This can be a challenge, there has been more than one day that I totally rearrange my schedule because the little ones are ready to wrestle instead of read. I do a lot of my teaching and reading during nap time. Individual reading or work is done on her own while they are awake. I have busy activities, build a tower, color these pages, build a train set, for the toddler. He will do all this while sitting at our feet, but he is still learning and listening to the book. I try to get all of them involved in the crafts/art/experiment time, even the 18 month old. Don't forget that imaginative play is crucial, so allowing them time to play together is good for all of their brains!

How do you motivate yourself and your child to do school everyday?
Remember, it is only for a few hours arranged around your time frame. I am literature based, we can talk more about this later, but think of how you remember? Is it in facts and figures, or through great stories? So mostly we are reading GREAT books. Just like any great book, we are always on the look out to find some time to squeeze in a chapter or two! Half the time they don't even know it is school, somedays we will have an awesome day of learning, dad will come home and say "what did you do for school today?' and the answer will be 'oh, we didn't do school today' then mom says, 'well why don't you tell him something you learned today?' and the list will go on and on and on. We are making learning fun, which makes motivation less of an issue. The days it is an issue, 'I don't want to days!' (we all have them) I focus on the character lesson, first time obedience, respect, hard work etc. I have also heard moms who have a lot more experience than me say that at times when it is becoming a drag they pull back and only do Bible. They say the result is nothing short of miraculous.

Don't you need a break from them?
YES! Of course, I am not wonder mom. I don't need a 6 hour a day break though. I have my personal time everyday, and have my girl time out every 2 weeks, and mommy and daddy time. I would miss them so much if they were gone all day every day.

Does your child like to homeschool? Loves it, absolutely loves it. I was concerned about this because she loved school so much, but she was so excited and has adjusted extremely well.

I have to touch on the 'I could never' bc, I get as well.
I could never homeschool bc....

'I wouldn't know where to start.' Five in a row, Sonlight, and My Father's World are great curriculum to help. Lodestar is a great resource to, Cheryl Lange is wonderful.

'My kids don't get a long.' This is exactly why you should do it. Who is going to be there for each other when times get tough? Friends they have in school or siblings? They have to get along, no matter where they go to school.

'I would kill my kids' Me, I am my kids teacher said it best in an email to me:
"I always feel the need to tell them there's nothing heroic or special about "me" ... and it's not that hard (yes, I am totally lying. Ha ha ha). I do remember when Giles was in first grade, we would completely clash on his homework. Yikes. But once we started homeschooling ... we were "forced" to work through that conflict, or I was challenged to find a way to break through to teach him to love learning, and to "accept" my help ... an ongoing process! We all still have those clashes with all of my kids, occasionally, mostly over staying focused. But I also feel truly grateful that God is refining me to work through these issues calmly, joyfully and lovingly. And that is some hard work for me sometimes. Just yesterday, one of the kids was having trouble with the simplest of addition problems. My first tendency used to be to get exasperated "YOU KNOW THAT, COME ON." How do we react to that? My kids shut down. So I have to purposefully be patient and positive and keep thinking about another way to show them ... or, wait for them to get it themselves. And then applaud and praise ... and move on or take a break. Yes, that part is hard work for me ... but I know it will pay big dividends for their lives as they will have lots of practice in working through conflict and learning intimacy and the dynamics of getting along with their parents, siblings ... and someday their own spouses, children and co-workers."

Well said, well said.

Homeschooling is not always easy, but the results are worth any bit of discomfort we might have along the way.

Spiritual

2008-11-21T15:19:00.006-06:00

In the culture we live in people tend to compartmentalize their lives. School here, family here, sports here, religion here, this isn't how it works with us. Spiritual isn't just a part of our lives, it is the reason for it. This isn't being taught at all in public schools, and there is only an hour in most private schools. I do teach bible (learning the stories in scripture), but there is so much more to it than an hour of bible study. Spiritual comes in to play in every aspect of educating for us. Every subject presents an opportunity to learn more about God, or sandpaper ourselves to be more like Him. Having trouble with math? What is more important math, or a lesson in determination, persistence, hard work, patience, not comparing to others, integrity of work, or joy in all circumstances? Growing a garden? Then marvel together at the creation the Lord has made, remind them of the parable of the seed. We study other cultures, learning about their religions, reading stories of missionaries that have been there, and praying for missionaries there now. It isn't that we are banging their heads with the Bible, we are teaching them how it plays in to every aspect of real life.

I feel like we forget what is THE most important lesson of all. Is education important? Absolutely. Is it more important than anything else? Well, you tell me...if your child ends up with a degree from Harvard, and becomes the President of the United States, but has no, or even just a minimal, relationship with Jesus Christ, and does not act with integrity or compassion will you be pleased? What if your child earns a Yale degree, but is of this world, valuing what our culture values and not the things of God, will you have done your job? I don't think so.

Homeschooling, for my family, is the only option where we don't feel like we are picking which aspect of our children is most important-spiritual, educational, relational, emotional, or physical. We have found homeschooling the option which enhances every aspect of our children, and family.

I have a quote I found a long time ago (unfortunately I am not sure where-so if you know tell me so I can give credit), but it speaks my heart about homeschooling. It says 'We want our children to love learning, to taste what they can accomplish through Christ in them, and others, and we want to be a part of this journey!'

I will be following up with a Q and A so to speak, so if you have any questions feel free to ask them...thanks for reading! :)

Physical

2008-11-16T16:41:00.004-06:00

The physical reasons for me homeschooling are a little more individualized to my family. In general, I feel there can be a benefit to all children. I feel that younger children need more playing, running, and climbing time than is allowed in most school settings. There is a lot of evidence that children, especially boys, are being required to sit in a desk way to young, which can stifle learning. Research shows that their brains actually function better while moving. There is a lot of research about the amount of sleep teenagers need, and it is a lot more than their schedules are allowing. I can monitor the food choices of my children at home, providing and helping them to make healthy choices. I enjoy the freedom of sleeping in when needed, doing more active activities, and being the caregiver who monitors these behaviors.

The amount of homework being assigned to children is troublesome to me. I have a friend whose child was getting an ulcer from all the hours of homework she was being assigned....in the first grade. Staying at home allows us to get accomplished what is done in 6 hours of school in about 2 or 3 hours at home. This is less stressful emotionally, and physically on children.

We have a chronic illness in our family, this was one of the reasons I started leaning towards homeschooling, it is by far not the only, or the main, reason. Spunky was in public school in kindergarten, she had a fabulous teacher, and incredible school room. There were several days when she just didn't feel 100%, this was stressful to me, should I send her, keep her home? What would be worse, going not feeling great, staying here and being better in an hour? What about the stress of missed work etc? Homeschooling has been fantastic for us. If she isn't feeling great, we don't do school. We can do school in the summer, spring break, or a holiday if I want. If she is needing extra sleep we fit in a nap. We don't ever have to miss school, we just rearrange it.

Educational

2008-11-12T20:22:00.002-06:00

Well this could get me shunned by just about everyone, but here I go. :) I could sit here and list a ton of statistics that you hear on the campaign trail, or on the nightly news, in order to convince you that public schools are horrid, and will literally turn you babies brains to mush. The problem with that is, I don't really believe it. I was brought up by two teachers, who love children, and are excellent at what they do. I went to public school, and lived to tell about it. Every teacher I know personally loves their students, and wants what is best for them. I could get on my soapbox about how we look at those stats, but think the answer is to keep drilling kids younger and younger in order to make a really great grade on a standardized test. The problem isn't the school in my opinion, the problem is the test, but I will have to get my mom to guest blog on that one. Instead let me explain the educational benefit I see to homeschooling.

I don't think anyone can argue with the amount of customized personal attention being a benefit to homeschooled children. Royalty has done it for years, hire tutors to give individual instruction to their children. We seek out tutors for children based on the theory that a little bit of one on one time can help leaps and bounds. I am often asked if I grade my children, the answer is no. If they don't have it, or don't get it, we don't move on. How do I know without a test? Because I am the one with them through it all. My favorite part of the day is when a light bulb in one of those little heads goes on, and I know that they got it! There is no getting by me what you have or haven't learned, I am watching for that light bulb at all times. Not because I want to make sure the 3rd grade test are high enough, but because it is pure joy to see.

If something is difficult we might try a different tactic, we might even wait a year, but we aren't going to pile on top of a weak foundation. I love the freedom to not fit in to the guidelines. You know the rules, read by 5, addition at 6, cursive at 7, multiplication at 8, the list goes on and on. What if they aren't ready at 5, what if they aren't ready at 8? I have several friends who proclaim to be bad readers. When I push them on this it almost always goes back to kindergarten, they struggled, they were labeled (either by themselves or by others), and they owned that for the rest of their lives. I think they probably just weren't ready when it was being taught. We live in such a competitive culture, just look at the baby wars. Mom's are constantly comparing whose child has done the most the earliest. Who cares? Is it when they do it, or if they do it? My children's eye doctor is a huge advocate for not lumping kids into a learning by age group. Children's eyes develop differently, some might be ready to read at 5 or do cursive at 7, but some children's eyes may really not be ready for a year or two. What happens when we push because of age? They become discouraged, frustrated, and they begin to hate the process of learning. It is to hard, there is no fun, and that inner curiosity that is God given, begins to fade.

Children need more imaginative play time, they need time to create, explore, pretend, build, question, and wonder. This time is hard to find in a school driven to make the standardized test grade. I enjoy the freedom to expand. If there is an interest we go with it, I have talked to mom's who have been stuck in a certain time period for over a year because their child's interest was so intense, and their learning so fun, they just couldn't move on. What that child learned is far more important than any one piece of information, he learned his passion, he learned that learning is fun, he learned how to learn, and along the way he picked up a few impressive pieces of information.

I didn't do school this summer with my girl. We decided to take a break, and just read the Little House series. When we started 'school' one of our first books was on prairie life. We had never formally discussed anything about prairie, we had only read the books for fun, so I decided to see how much she knew. I asked her to tell me what she knew about the prairie. As she began spouting out a list of information so fast I couldn't keep up, even I was amazed at how much she had learned from our summer fun. Learning does not have to fit in the definition of school.

The last huge educational benefit I want to discuss (this means that there are about a million more but my hands are getting tired) is about how much fun it is for me to learn or relearn the information. I am having a blast! I had forgotten so much history, and geography. I have learned so much about other cultures, and religions. I can't wait to brush up on my chemistry, and algebra. It is so much fun to learn right along with your children. Your passion and zeal will excite and ignite the passion for more in them. We might miss a few lessons along the way, who doesn't, but I want my children to LOVE to learn, and to know how to do it.

Go here to read more about how our days pan out. :)

Emotional

2008-11-11T22:00:00.004-06:00

Emotional and relational are so closely tied together I can't help but have them follow each other. Kids are cruel. How many times have you heard this phrase? The truth is all people are cruel. If you have any doubt of this I recommend hanging out at a nurses station for any length of time. They may be a little more behind your back about it, but the cruelty is rampant.

Because of the cruelty that even adults exhibit, I am under no illusion that I will keep my children from emotional harm, or hurt feelings. It will happen. I do believe I can give my children more grounding, more security, and more self esteem the less this happens. I believe that the more comfortable with themselves, the more they have been believed in, the better self esteem they will have. I believe that a stronger bond with parents and siblings can help a child feel their special place in this world even before they figure out where that place is. I think children need more time to explore, and play. This makes for a happier child. I cringe at parents who are pushing the 'tough' subject on their children, while forgetting to encourage the natural talent before them.

I've seen statistics that up to 70% of children are bullied in school. This has a lasting impact on these innocent people for a lifetime. The 'different' children are not the only ones under pressure. Popular children, especially those taught kindness, are feeling pulled in all directions, how do I hang out with everyone, who do I invite, which party do I attend? They are being emotionally drained. One huge benefit I see to homeschooling is being able to ground a child, thrive a child, and let them explore their own strengths at their own time, which boost confidence for a lifetime.

My daughter was struggling in a relationship with another child recently. It was any normal situation you would see on a playground, minus name calling. She came to me to talk about what was going on, and her feelings. We thought out options, talked about it, got dad's take on it, and set out a plan of action. When plan 1 didn't work, she came back to me, we prayed, talked, searched the Word for some wisdom, and she decided on her next move. Now don't forget that I am in the vicinity at all times, some of these talks were at home, some were in the corner of a playground in whispers. 'Hey mom, it is happening again, I have done a, b, c, and d. What now?' I asked if she wanted me to intervene, but at the wise old age of 6 she declined. 'I think I can work it out mom.' Truthfully, I have never been prouder of her. She walked out conflict, and hurt feelings in a way I haven't seen many adults do. I know that because I am near, she is more confident. Even if others don't like her, or what she stands for, she knows she has a cheerleading squad, called her family, that will always back of her up.

Relational

2008-11-11T01:02:00.000-06:00

I have no idea how to rank my list (emotional, educational, physical, spiritual, relational) so I think I will just dive on in.

Relationships are one of the main reasons we have chosen to homeschool. We want strong bonds with our children, and strong bonds among them. You will often hear us reminding our children to treat each other better than they treat their best friends. We love each other, and love hanging out together. We don't want to jump into the American family rat race, the pick up from school, drop off at practice, drop off at different practice, back to first one to pick up, back to second to pick up, rush home grabbing fast food on the way, gobble up dinner, off to bedrooms to finish homework, monitor fight over computer/phone/tv, sign a paper telling me what my child is learning and not learning, off to bed to rest to do it again. This spells STRESS to me, which is funny because so many moms ask me how I do it, how do I have the time? I always think, 'How do YOU have the time?' My husband wants to be as much a part of their lives as he can, in our world this spells out more time, which means less out of home activities. One of the things we love about homeschooling, is that our children can take their extra curricular activities during the day, why dad is working, and our evenings can remain family time. This encourages a closeness between our children, and with us.

One day I was heading upstairs to get my daughter to do her schoolwork I had planned. As I got to the top of the stairs I could hear her reading. I peeked around the corner, and there she was with her 3 year old little brother on her lap reading his favorite Thomas book. I almost interrupted her, but a quickening from the Spirit prevented me from doing it. I sat down and listened. After the story they talked about it, they laughed, they told their favorite parts. She asked if he wanted her to read another, and he told her 'No sissy, you read one of your books to me now.' It reminded me that we are doing this for lessons far more important than school.

But...WHY?

2008-11-09T23:37:00.002-06:00

So we are out there, I mean WAY out there. We, hold on peeps, made the choice to keep our kids home from school, and teach them ourselves. Can you believe it? You still there? Sorry I should have warned you to sit down. Okay, grab a cold rag, get a drink, but please come back. :)

I am being mildly sarcastic, but the truth is, that type of reaction is not far from reality. My head has been spinning at many a party from all the rhetoric about homeschooling. On occasion I have actually seen a line waiting to get to me, in order to ask me more questions, or tell me more of their opinions. The main question I get is 'why?' To which I want to reply, 'Do you want the emotional, physical, spiritual, relational or educational reason?' I would like to address these in further detail later this week, but first let's get the disclaimer, and the Major hang up out the way, sound good?

First, I would like to say that I hold no contempt, or judgement, for you if you do not homeschool. I, unlike some, do not think that every mother is called to the path I have been called to. I believe every family operates differently, and release you of any condemnation you have received from other, misguided, homeschooling mothers who have snubbed their noses at you for the decisions you have made for your family. Please remember this when reading the following post. I have gotten into many a discussion with PTA moms, who begin quizzing, questioning, and yes attacking, our decision to homeschool. When I start explaining, or defending, our choice, these moms unanimously begin to tell me all of the reasons they can not homeschool. It can be a little awkard, I mean how do you say, 'Wait, you were just attacking me so I was merely defending my position on the topic, not trying to convince you.' Okay, usually that is what I say. My point is, I do it so obviously I believe in it, but because I am explaining my view on it doesn't mean I am saying you are a bad mom, or even that you have made a bad decision for your family if you don't do it. Capeche?

Moving on to the next major hang up, what about socialization?!?!?!?!?!?! 'Socialization is the process through which people learn the attitudes, values, and actions appropriate to individuals as members of a particular culture-how to adapt to the needs of the group, to follow the rules of society, and live harmoniously in the particular society in which we live.' I think most people would agree that 20- 30 other children the same age is not really socializing according to the definintion, and if they are, then I am more than happy to opt out. I don't want other children teaching my children how to interact with the elderly, disabled, babies, or siblings that is my job. Here are just a few of the alarming statistics to think about,
81% of students have had >1 drink of alcohol during there lifetime
47.2% of students have used marijuana >1 time during their lifetime
32.2% of students have had their first drink of alcohol before the age of 13 (Nationwide CDC-Published in the MMWR)
Nearly 75 percent of teenagers have had intercourse by the time they turn 20;
Additionally, the Institute reports that teens in the US are more likely to have sex before the age of 15, and to have more than one partner in a year, than teenagers in Sweden, France, Canada and the United Kingdom (according to the The Guttmacher Institute)
Research shows that more than 90 percent of those who have eating disorders are women between the ages of 12 and 25 (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, 2003)
These are the children you are alarmed I am not letting 'socialize' my children. If this is what they have to offer, I don't want it. I want my children to learn the appropriate attitude, value, and actions from my husband and myself. I want the 'rules of society' they learn to be the rules of Christ, not the rules of this world.

What I think people really mean by this question is what about friends, and getting along with other children. Now this is a question I can understand, one that I was fearful of at first. I was afraid of my children being weird. The past two years have alleviated this concern. We get together often with a group, 16 children in all, ranging in age from 1-11 years old. The mothers watch, monitor, and teach the children how to interact, include the younger, respect each other, and have fun. When we get together the children usually get to play for hours of uninterrupted time-I would argue that they have more playtime (or socialization time if you are still hung up on that term) than school children get in 30 minutes of recess. They make extravagant play, more than I can keep up with. There is no exclusion, no bullying, and no peer pressure. They are all friends. Now for the weird, I have to admit I can see this playing out. These children play Civil War, orphans, missionary, pioneer women, and Sacagawea. They make up games, plays, costumes, and clubs. They are allowed to be children a little bit longer, there is no Hannah Montana (although you will hear a few High School Musical songs), or Bratz to be seen. That, my friends, is a weird I can live with.

Confessions of a Dog Lover

2008-11-04T12:01:00.001-06:00

People are under the illusion that the world is divided, right and left, dem or rep, blond or brunette. The only true dividing line I see is DOG or CAT? Come on people, you know it's true. You dog lovers out there think, 'Cat, why? No seriously, why?' and you cat lovers out there think, 'Get that stinking thing off of my chest, and please keep it from licking my face and smelling my you know what', all while smiling politely.

I myself, am a dog lover. I have had several, Cutie, Honey, Cocoa, Trey, Abbey and the most notable of all, and dearest to my heart, Skyler. I am 100% sold on pups, love them.
Let me insert a little background here, my grandmother was terrified of cats. TERRIFIED! Although none of her daughters are actual scared of them, none have an especially fond feeling towards them, which of course was passed down yet another generation to yours truly. I have only bunked with one cat, George. George was my husbands when we married, but he was on the other side of the continent until the vows were said. Then I had it sprung on me that dear brother-in-law would be bringing a cat to be my, and Skyler's, new roomie. 'A WHAT!?!' I said. Now you are beginning to see the picture aren't you: Dog lover forgets to ask boyfriend what side he is on during 10 week whirlwind romance, and ends up eloping with a cat lover. Fast forward 10 years, and no cats later.

So one day we are hanging out in the backyard when 2 little kitties come bounding up. They were sweet, playful, and awfully purry. My daughter and son immediately begin oohing and awing, I begin to panic. 'These are someones cats right, surely they are someones cats' I say to my mother-in-law, who is 100% on the other side of the issue, 4 cats and all. She confirms that they have to be owned by someone near. So I relax and enjoy watching my children love on these to cute cats, which are now cute because I am certain they are loved by another family. About an hour later, my neighbor pops his head out back looking for his two kitties. We talk for a while, he seems appropriately attached, but says he would love for us to play with them during the day since he is gone most of the time. Later that evening, we are telling daddy, and showing him pictures of me holding the cats (the only way he would have believed it). He ask, for the millionth time, 'can we get them?' I shrewdly say, 'I would actually take those two, they were special, but neighbor is really attached. Sorry.' Insert mouth in foot.

To make a long story bloggable, dear neighbor offers two kitties to us because of the sweet love, and pure joy he saw on my children's faces while playing with them everyday out back. If he was willing to sacrifice, what was a mom to do? Get some Flonace, a little kitty litter, and suck it up.

I would like to officially welcome Socks and Stripes to the family, and to my bed. Just who is in charge here anyway?

Iron Jawed Angels

2008-11-02T00:24:00.007-05:00

Many of you think I have been absent from the blogging world because of working overtime, having sick and teething children, cleaning out and preparing for a garage sale, researching adoption options, or writing articles for ArtBeat, a new and exciting local magazine. You are all wrong, although those things have been taking up a considerable amount of my already crazy busy life, but mainly I have been redirecting my blogging time to watching, repeatedly, Iron Jawed Angels.

I sit here completely inept to review this fascinating film which chronicles the journey of suffragettes Alice Paul (Hillary Swank) and Lucy Burns (Frances O'Connor). I was somewhat skeptical when sitting down to watch it for the first time. Historical documentaries tend to either be artistically boring, or untruthful in order to spice up the action. Iron Jawed Angels is neither. It is a gripping story, told in a compelling manner. The acting was insightful, the costumes were brilliant, the sound track engaging, and the story life changing. Worried about a 3 hour line on Tuesday? Not me, I will proudly stand in any line, to check any box I choose. I will no longer take this privilege lightly, nor nonchalantly. Truth be told, you will be hard pressed to find this little momma missing any election on any level. Not after an insightful glimpse at the courage and determination the suffragettes displayed in championing their cause for women.

One of the best scenes of the movie is when Alice is talking to a Washington Post newspaper cartoonist played by Patrick Dempsey. He says, 'What do you think women are going to do when they vote, reform politics?' Alice gives him a half shocked look, 'Because we are morally superior? That's a nice fairy tale. I don't have any illusions about women. There are good and bad, just like men. I don't know what they are going to do with their vote, and I don't care.' 'Prohibition? Legalize Birth control?' He retorts. 'It doesn't matter. That is not the point. We are legitimate citizens. We are taxed without representation, we aren't even allowed to serve on juries so we are not tried by our peers. It is unconscionable, not to mention unconstitutional.' Alice, among many other women, were courageous beyond measure, pushing for our constitutional right to representation. The right for you, for me, for my mother, for my daughter.

To all you other Netflixers with Iron Jaw sitting at the top of your queue, you better hope they have a ton of copies because this movie isn't hitting the mailbox until every women I love has watched it in it's entirety.

(This is a NR movie, but there are a few scenes I would skip if watching it with my children. I would recommend watching it first to see if you feel it is appropriate for your child)

Psalms 145

2008-10-19T14:47:00.004-05:00

Sitting in a hospital room while my father was sleeping, I was drawn to Psalms 145. I read it, 'that's nice', I thought. But then I read it again, and again. I started dissecting it, cutting it up into pieces, and circling the descriptive words for our Father. There is a wealth of information about who our Lord is in these 21 verses. It is always dumbfounding to me that these were written without the Bible. David really just knew, that he knew, that he knew this was who God is. Is this who you know your Lord to be?

The Lord is great, worthy, glorious splendor, majestic, goodness, righteous, gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, rich in love, good, has compassion for all he has made, mighty, everlasting, his dominion endures through all generations, trustworthy, faithful, upholds, timely, satisfying, near, fulfilling, He hears, He saves, and He watches.

Psalms 145:21 'My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord . Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.'

White Chili Soup

2008-10-14T23:48:00.003-05:00

Recipe follower. That is the only description that I have ever felt appropriate to refer to myself as, after Rachel Ray took 'cook' to a whole new level. That is until I read the definition for chef:
'A chef is a person who cooks professionally. In a professional kitchen setting, the term is used only for the one person in charge of everyone else in the kitchen, the executive chef.'
Since wife and mommy are my chosen profession, since I am most certainly in charge of everyone (and everything) in the kitchen, and since I spend a vast majority of my week in the kitchen setting...You may now call me Executive Chef Tiff (or recipe follower, whatever floats your boat).
I have collected a few, easy, scrumptious, easy, sometimes kinda healthy, super yummy, easy recipes over the years. Have I mentioned I like things easy? This recipe is so easy you men out there should use it to impress your wife, all you have to do is open a few cans, and boom happy momma! I got it from a friend in nursing school. Right about now, with the weather turning crisp, is a great time to whip out this old favorite. We use to eat it during study group on fall weekends. Now I eat it and am reminded that I don't have to stay up until 2 AM cramming for a final, of course I will probably stay up until 2 in the morning blogging, but let's get on to the recipe shall we?

White Chili Soup (not sure why the chili, is anything with beans chili?)
1 pkg (4) boneless chicken breast-cooked and cut up into bite size pcs. (or 2 cans of chicken-remember I like easy)
2 cans chopped green chilis
2 cans great Northern white beans (I rinse mine-less sodium that way)
2 cans shoepeg corn (in case you don't buy this usually-the cans are smaller)
2 cans chicken broth

Open cans, mix, bring to boil or simmer, just make it hot. Personally I like to simmer it, the flavors go together better and it makes the house smell yummy!
Pour in bowl, put some tostitos and shredded cheese on top. Add some sour cream and salsa if you want too! Enjoy!
(if you make this recipe for guest just have a recipe card written out, they are sure to ask for it)

Butterfly Day

2008-10-12T13:34:00.006-05:00

I love butterflies. I squeal like a child when one crosses my path.

I read about them, watch them, wear them, decorate with them, and I may or may not have one permanently on my body. They are a beautiful creature. They represent birth, and new life. They are graceful, colorful, and bring joy to those around them. When I came across the Journey North program, I jumped on the chance to pass on this love to my daughter, and my nieces.

On a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, the girls and I gathered, for what was quickly termed, butterfly day. The goal was to explore the habits of the monarch, and have a loads of fun in the process. I had been reading Chasing Monarch's: Migrating with the Butterflies of Passage by Robert Michael Pyle (now you officially know I am a geek). The book was mind boggling. My husband was entertained with my head slapping, gasping, jaw dropping, reaction to the tale of man in pursuit of the monarch. I was loaded with great children's books from the library, Hurry and the Monarch, Monarch Butterfly, Magnificent Monarchs, Monarch Magic, and Gotta Go Gotta Go to name a few. We had paper, paint, markers, imaginations, and an eagerness to learn. It was time for school.

Butterfly day was a blast, and quit educational. We discussed the migration route of the monarch's. How they know where they are going, how we don't know how they know where they are going. We discussed how they go from solo, to traveling with thousands of others in the journey. How they go to the same mountain range in Mexico every winter, where our beautiful symbolic butterflies were going. We talked about borders, and ambassadors. We discussed natural resources, and our responsibility to be a good steward of the earth. There was a spontaneous play created, with costumes and props. I was given the part of the Mexican narrator complete with a sombero and moustache. To my delight, the girls were equally as fascinated with the chrysalis process as I. They gave me the reaction I had hoped for when learing that caterpillars actually LIQUIFY inside their chrysalis. I mean come on, how can this not be jaw dropping?

I explained why I loved butterflies so much. It is not just the fascinating, creator pointing science, or the pleasant beauty which delights all who observe. A butterfly is how I feel in Jesus. That I was a worm, functional, but that is about it. Roaming the world looking for more, only surviving. Then I was wrapped in the blood of Jesus, and after I gave myself to Him, He changed me. Now I feel like a magnificent butterfly; beautiful, graceful, and free.

When the day was over we were experts. The girls concluded that if anyone didn't believe in God all they would have to do is learn about the butterfly, I mean how could anyone not believe in God after that? I was inspired, and reminded what child like faith looks like. What a blessing to teach these children, and have them in turn teach me.

Daughter's and Body Image

2008-10-10T10:30:00.008-05:00

My women's accountability group and I have been discussing how we teach our daughters to have a positive body image. I certainly do not have all the answers, but I have talked, asked, listened, and read on this subject in order to free myself from a negative body image. I want to share with you what I do know, and would love the discussion of what you know.

I remember one time begging the Lord to help me get this, I mean to the tip of my toes get this, so I could pass it on to my daughter. What was placed upon my heart at that moment was jaw dropping to me. My heart knew that the Lord was telling me as much as I wanted freedom from this for my daughter was as much as He wanted it for me, and more.

Still, in listening to story after story, mom's do have a major role to play in their daughters self image. (Dad's too! I would recommend father's of daughter's read Captivating, by Stasi Eldredge to get a better grasp on your role and how to help it) So here is what I know, or at least think I know, once again I would love the discussion.

First, I am teaching her what the Word says about her. Scriptures like
'I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.' Psalms 34:4-5 ,
Psalms 139:14 'I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.', and 'Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe' Philippians 2:14-15 are scriptures she knows. I bring them up, when she is not complaining I tell her she is shining like a star. When she makes peace, I tell her she looks beautiful. I use the same terminology in the bible to complement her acts. We discuss beauty as the Lord defines it.

I point out different women's outer and inner beauty on a regular basis. All sizes, shapes, colors, and styles have been complimented in her presence. I want to define beauty for her, not the culture.

Under those same guidelines, when I heard her say her tummy was 'fat' one time-which caused my blood to boil because I can assure you that she never heard this in our house-I redefined fat. 'You are not fat. Fat means that your body can't work right because it is unhealthy.'

I set boundaries with family members. This can be hard, and awkward, especially if you aren't as outspoken as I am, but we are our children's advocate so it is up to us. If someone is only complimenting my weight, I ask them to stop. I politely explain that we do not want our daughter to get the wrong, or culture, idea about beauty, and that we try to focus on complimenting the inner person. Now let me clarify, we tell her she is pretty, beautiful, my husband compliments me in front of her often, but I try to limit weight talk. There is a difference. I was discussing this with a friend recently who had some family members make direct weight comments to her son. She wasn't sure what to do, so essentially did nothing. We were talking about if that family member had said, 'Hey son you are stupid, you are as dumb as they come.' would she have remained silent? Of course the answer was no, she would have immediately jumped in, defended her son, and set appropriate boundaries. So why do we shy away when it is in regards to their bodies?

I watch what she watches, and turn it off if needed. There is what seems like a harmless, yet mindless, show on Saturday mornings. I was (painfully) watching it with her, when they began to talk about 'healthy' eating. Their intentions were good, but they were so focused on skinny that I turned it off. We no longer watch this. Even shows that seem harmless are written from a worldly view, and come at the problem from the wrong way.

I don't have magazines or supermodel pictures around. This helps me, and so it is helping her. I will nonchalantly mention that the computer picture on a magazine cover is interesting. 'Computer picture?' She says. 'Yeah, those pictures aren't real, they put them in a computer and change them to make them look like they want.' At other times we have played on our computer pictures, turning them black and white, sepia, distorted, etc. I think this makes the idea more real to her without me ever having to connect the dots.

Lastly, I am searching the Lord to restore, and free me from the burden of negative body image. I hope that I can be a model of someone who is striving to live healthy, and decorate the temple. I am confident I can, the Lord has begun His work in me, He is sure to finish it.

Quotes of the Week

2008-10-07T20:59:00.002-05:00

'I think I might should change my attitude.' Spunky

'I don't want to ride a horse, I want to ride a dinosaur!' Monkey
'But there are no dinosaurs anymore.' Mom
'But WHY?!?! I miss them, I love dinosaurs.' Monkey

'Mom, I am not going to play on the computer or watch TV this week, I think it is hurting my brain.' Spunky

'Monkey do you want to go sit in a tree stand with daddy, you can be real quiet and maybe listen to your headphones?' Dad
'I don't want to do that, I want to shoot that deer.' Monkey (dad couldn't have been prouder)

'I want pizza' Monkey
'They don't have pizza here. How about a cheeseburger?' Mom
'I want pizza. Why they not have pizza?' Monkey
'I don't know, how about chicken?' Mom
'HEY!!!!' (to waiter walking by) 'YOU GOT PIZZA?!' Monkey

And last, but certainly not least,
'Kittycat. uh. huh. um. bababa. kittycat.' Smiley

Dying to Self

2008-10-06T01:00:00.001-05:00

Someone gave this to me years ago, literally. I have carried it for 18 years, in many different bibles, through many different states. I hope it affects you the same way it does me.

When your good is evil spoken of; when your wishes are crossed; your advice disregarded; your opinions ridiculed; and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart; or even defend yourself; but take it all in patient loving silence....THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any unpunctuality, or any annoyance; when you can stand face to face with wast, folly , extravagance, spiritual insensibility, and endure it as Jesus endured it....THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God...THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you no longer care to hear yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation; when you can truly love to be unknown...THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met, and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit, and feel no envy, nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances...THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, and can humbly submit inwardly and outwardly; finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart...THAT IS DYING TO SELF.

-Anonymous

'Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds;' Eph 4:21-23

Good Morning Mommy

2008-10-03T08:39:00.003-05:00

I am not sure if I heard the footsteps, or just felt the gentle push first. 'Mommy, Mommy I went poopy in the potty! Poopy in the potty!
'Where am I, what is going on?' I think in my early morning grog. 'Great Monkey, good job.' I mumble as I turn over to try and squeeze in another 2 minutes of sleep.

Then it hits me. I am now fully awake and alert. I sit straight up, 'You did what?'

'Come see, come see, I went poopy in the potty! I wipe all by myself.' My slow to start brain is beginning to dissect this startling piece of information, oh no, this isn't good. Monkey is only in a shirt, and what is that on his hands? 'DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!' I exit my bed, grabbing the back of Monkey's shirt in order to guide him gently, yet hurriedly, back to the bathroom.

I can't say I was shocked. I wasn't even surprised, as I turned the corner into my cheery yellow bathroom to find it accented with poop on the walls, the toilet seat, the carpet (I did not and would not ever put carpet in a bathroom), the sink, the counter, and up and down the legs and hands of Monkey. Good Morning Mommy.

'See Mommy see, I DID IT!'
'You sure did Monkey, you sure did.'

The Final Say

2008-10-02T01:00:00.004-05:00

Anyone ready to hear about God's love? He is ready for you to hear it.

Neil Anderson has written many books, including Victory of the Darkness. He writes that Satan's greatest tool is to convince us we aren't who God says we are. Here is an adapted list(from Anderson's books) of scriptures telling you who you are in Him. As you read through these (try it out loud) if any don't settle well with you, if you don't fully believe them, ask the Lord to show you this, to penetrate your heart with His truth.

I AM ACCEPTED..
I am God's child. John 1:12
As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. John 15:5
I have been justified. Romans 5:1
I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit. 1 Cor. 6:17
I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. 1 Cor. 6:19-20
I am a member of Christ's body. 1Cor 12:27
I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. Eph. 1:3-8
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Col. 1:13-14
I am complete in Christ. Col. 2:9-10
I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. Heb. 4:14-16

I AM SECURE...
I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:1-2
I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. Romans 8:28
I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. Romans 8:31-39
I have been established, anointed and sealed by God. 2 Cor. 1:21-22
I am hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:1-4
I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. Phill. 1:6
I am a citizen of heaven. Phil. 3:20
I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Tim. 1:7
I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me. 1 John 5:18

I AM SIGNIFICANT...
I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life. John 15:5
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. John 15:16
I am God's temple. 1 Cor. 3:16
I am a minister of reconciliation for God. 2 Cor. 5:17-21
I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm. Eph. 2:6
I am God's workmanship. Eph. 2:10
I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Eph. 3:12
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

Trust ME

2008-09-27T01:00:00.002-05:00

"When I use my appearance to gain the approval of others, I have taken desperate measures to fill a hole. I have become convinced that there is no other alternative. I believe that there is no other way to feel secure, affirmed, and valuable. Like a hungry lion on the prowl, I am starving for love because I have fasted from divine affection. I too have betrayed God by giving myself to anyone passing by. I have preferred the acceptance of strangers over God's lavish love for me. When I get dressed in the morning, I dress for them. When I wear a swimsuit, I'm embarrassed to be seen by them-or I flaunt myself for them. when I feel disappointed at the reflection in the mirror, I have given the ownership of my beauty to them. When I tell myself that I feel ugly today, it is because I care more about what they must think of me than about how God sees me. Who are they? My culture, my friends, the opposite sex, the general public. Anyone passing by." Wanting to be Her by Michelle Graham (I HIGHLY recommend reading this book)

After 7 years of marriage to my husband an insult from an old boyfriend was still affecting what I thought of myself. My husband said 'You have a choice to make. You can believe what I say, and all the love I have for you and have shown you. Or you can trust him. The man who never even really knew you.' Wow, that blew me away. He was right. I was the one letting it become part of me, I was the one giving it power. Isn't that what the Lord is saying to some of you? He is saying 'TRUST ME! Not the enemy, ME, I am your creator! I know you, I love you, Trust what I say about you!'

Isaiah 51:7 'Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have my laws in your hearts: Do not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults.'

Order

2008-09-17T23:07:00.004-05:00

Things have been a little wacky the past few weeks. Nothing completely out of the ordinary, but who knows what ordinary is around these parts. There are some big schedule changes, school starting back up, sports resuming, and I had to put in a few more hours of work in my job outside the home. Still things seemed a little more chaotic than usual. I was feeling so drained and getting a little on the sad side today so I had a pretty straight talk with Jesus. By straight talk I mean something like this,

'Hey what in the world is going on here? Is everything as crazy as it feels? What am I doing wrong, why can't I get my normal stuff done? Please Lord, order my days.....oh. (this is the place where the Holy Spirit gently guides my heart and mind to the reminder I am ever so in need of) The order of my days. I get it. Forgive me. Help me. Thanks Jesus, you rock my world!'

The reminder? My time with Him, notta, not such much, zero, zip. I have been so consumed with (hold on this one is going to come as a big surprise) ME that I hadn't been ordering my days with Him first. Funny how when I do order my days I accomplish more, love more, learn more, and laugh more.

Photo's

2008-09-13T12:54:00.010-05:00

I love photography. I am not a photographer by any stretch of the imagination, but I enjoy getting a good shot. I find enjoyment and comfort in pictures of my little ones, I hold them dear to remember what life was like, but are the pictures really what life looks like?

My boys were being awfully cute the other day, and I wanted a shot of the commotion happening. I pull the camera out, and everything changes. Smiley wants to eat the camera, Monkey wants a shot of just him, and Spunky wants to be the one behind the lens. So what do I do? What any good mother would do...I position them back to where they were, start barking out orders..'Here over here. SMILE! No back in the box buddy, wait, wait, Monkey I will give you a treat if you sit there and smile, hold it, Spunky back up. Why? Because you weren't playing the game, the boys were. I'll take one of you in a minute. Yeah! I got it, great picture!' I know I'm not the only one, I have seen and heard all you mothers doing it.

Doesn't the presence of the camera itself change the dynamic before you? In the spirit of naturalism, here are a few pics of real life..

I don't think photoshop is going to help me!

The Invisible Woman

2008-09-10T23:52:00.001-05:00

Love this!

Spending time..

2008-09-10T09:10:00.000-05:00

being smothered in His Mercy and Grace....

Anyone know what I mean?

couch to 5K

2008-09-05T11:52:00.003-05:00

So here I am in blog world, committing myself to a couch to 5K program, which I have to admit has been a little more couch than 5K. Right after I signed up I got the dreaded summer cold, then life happened, and next thing I know I am like 2 weeks into it and haven't been on the mill once. So, like the good old overachiever I am, I hop on and try to start in the week I was suppose to be on, not the week I was in, in order to be able to run the 5K when everyone else does. This, however, was not a good idea. I had to sit a few extra days out because of knee ache. I refuse to quit though!
So, just in case any of you peeps signed up and haven't been on track (ha ha, get it track like a running track, okay maybe better heard than read), I just want you to be assured you will not be the only one out there possibly walking. Remember, we are focusing on health, this might look different for all of us, but moving is healthy so keep on getting on that mill!

Progress

2008-09-02T08:54:00.002-05:00

I am intentionally staying away from politics. With that being said, my mom said it best here is an email to me from her. Thanks mom!

'This is really amazing historically that we have a female as the Republican VP candidate. Think about it in these terms. Mimi (my grandmother) was born in 1919 and, technically, did not have the right to vote as a female at that time. The 19th amendment giving women the right to vote was not ratified until August 1920. This has always amazed me that I have had the right to vote my entire life, my mother was given the right to vote very early in her life, but my grandmothers did not have the right to vote until well into their lives. Mama Maggie(my great grandmother) had given birth to her first child before she had the right to vote and Grandmother King(my great great grandmother) had given birth to her youngest child before she had the right to vote. I don't care if Palin is a Democrat or a Republican or if Obama is Democrat or Republican, this is progress.

What a great country we live in for this kind of progress to be made in really such a short time!'

Pillow Talk

2008-08-27T12:45:00.002-05:00

Spunky and I have this ritual. When we haven't had much time together, or life with only boys is getting to her, we meet on my pillow, snuggled under my favorite quilt, and have a little chat time. We usually just talk for a little bit, but then we get in to a game of questions. The questions range from 'If you could only pick one color to be left in the world what would it be?' (Of course she got me on this one by answering 'Rainbow') to 'Have you ever laughed so hard drink came out of your nose? And if you answer yes would you pick to laugh that hard again or go without the laugh?' It is a great time, and I find out a lot about my little girl. Here is our pillow talk the other day,

'What do you think the coolest story about Jesus is?' I asked
'Hmm, well the water to wine thing was pretty cool, walking on water though..that is way cool. Making all those people be able to see and hear again is pretty neat. I think I will have to go with dying on the cross so we can all go to heaven though.' Spunky

Wow, blew me away. I love that kid.

Facebook

2008-08-23T12:31:00.006-05:00

Facebook this facebook that. All I have been hearing about lately is facebook. I resisted, much the way I use to resist cell phones. 'Who do those people think they are? Why do they think they are so important that they have to have a cell phone?' Now if I forget my trusty cell I feel vulnerable, naked you could say. So I caved with the phones, finding fun and safety in my cell. Now I have caved to the call of facebook, hoping that all my savvy friends were true in the assessment that I just HAD to be there.

My plan: only to catch up with the 4 friends I knew were on there, 3 of which live out of town. Occasionally seeing their pics and writing sweet, encouraging, and dare I say funny, little notes on their (what I now know is called) wall. No pic of me. Only use my extremely common name, not listing my outlandishly unique maiden name, so as to be incognito. Keep it simple, I have to many blogs I enjoy following to have yet another call to the computer.

Reality: 15 invites for friendship in the first day, oh no, what to do? I can't reject them can I? Do I really want to? A few I actually had to look up in the year book to remember what they looked like. How do they know it is me? How do they know my common married name? I accepted, I mean really how can you not.

This is how it reads
'So and so wants to be your friend, do you confirm or not confirm?'

Hmmm, where have I read that before?
'Will you go out with me? Circle one below
YES NO MAYBE
So I accepted, and accepted, and accepted. BUT just like the cell phone, I am seeing that this can be fun. I can go on someones page, see where they are, what they are up to, what there sweet kiddos look like, give them a quick shout out, and log off. It doesn't take a lot to reconnect. Maybe God even has a plan for some of those reconnection's. I have even invited a few people of my own to be my friend, gee I hope they say yes.

God Show's Up-Part Whatever

2008-08-21T00:44:00.002-05:00

Well I thought I was done with the God shows up series, but how could I not fill you dear friends in on the final note. Monkey had his follow up appointment this week with the GI, and she said:

'All the objective data says no crohn's. The objective data is what we go by, so we will not diagnose him with Crohn's. All of his biopsies, normal, completely normal. So he is off my schedule, call me if anything comes back up.'

AHHHHHHHHHHH!! Me picking my mouth up off the floor. We pushed and pushed her on what it was or what it could have been, she says it would all be speculation at this point. Probably some weird virus, which all my physician friends know, I think means they haven't got a clue (love all you dr. peeps :)

Praise God! Keep praying for Spunky, she is doing good, but I am believing for and anxiously anticipating complete healing.

Olympic Mania

2008-08-19T00:37:00.004-05:00

That's it, I'm hooked. I am already mildly hyperventilating thinking that the end to the summer Olympics is coming. Then I have to wait 4 more years, 4 MORE YEARS! Yes, I know the winter Olympics will be here in only 2, but I am not nearly as entertained with them. Gymnastics, swimming, diving, I am a summer Olympic junkie.

So it occurred to me this week that probably the only reason my sweet frugal hubby would okay taking out a second mortgage to go to the Olympics is if one of my children happens to be IN the Olympics. This got this little brain of mine plotting. I think the ticket is to get in a sport inexpensive, with medals up for grabs, and the podium wide open. Now I am starting to sound like China though.

Spunky is 7-so we are out on the gymnastics- I am sure she would at least have to be able to do a cartwheel by now to make it to that level in the next 8 years, but there are many other options. She does love to ice skate, but that only buys me tickets to the winter Olympics which I already mentioned aren't nearly as exciting for me. Volleyball you say? Her daddy would never let her out of the house in one of those outfits. Running, well the Jamaicans pretty much have that covered now don't they? HMMMM? Maybe we should move on....

Monkey, he could be the ticket with his natural athletic ability like his daddy. He kept saying 'I want to do that' when the swimming was on. I was elated, already imagining myself being interviewed by Matt Lauer,
'I knew we would be here someday when Monkey was watching Michael Phelps at the age of 3 saying 'I want to do that'. There was really no doubt in my mind.'
But then a dog food commercial came on and he said 'I want to do that'. My Matt Lauer dream was shattered, just like that. Next....

Smiley, now here is an option. He is great at climbing, and rolling off of stuff. Diving perhaps? He does do a good flip, of course he will have to learn how to swim, and dive, but those are only minor details. He is pretty big for his age though, and all those divers look pretty small. Rowing maybe, except where do those people even learn how to row, not in Oklahoma I tell you. Wrestling maybe, but I am not sure his mommy would let him out in that outfit.

Well maybe we could marry into it? Yeah that's the ticket, then I don't have to pay for coaching, drive anyone to 5 am practices, pay for Dr's, massage therapist, costumes, shoes, trainers, gym memberships, or coaches. All I have to do...go watch my in law bring home the gold baby.

Flee vs. resist

2008-08-15T11:38:00.006-05:00

In my ladies group the other night we were discussing idolatry in terms of anything that causes you to sin against God. Some one pointed out that in the word of God there are only a few times the Lord uses the word flee, instead of the resist, refrain, or avoid. You think He takes these things seriously?

The Greek word is pheugo, it is defined as
1) to flee away, seek safety by flight
2) metaph. to flee (to shun or avoid by flight) something abhorrent, esp. vices
3) to be saved by flight, to escape safely out of danger
4) poetically, to flee away, vanish

Here is where it is found in relation to sin:
1 Corinthians 6:18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 10:14Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.
2 Timothy 2:22Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
1 Timothy 6:11For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

I take this as turn the other direction at the slightest hint of these things and book it as fast, hard, and far away from these things as you possibly can. Are you fleeing from the things listed above?

Go here to search the word or here

2008-08-14T00:05:00.001-05:00

So I have been tagged, by my new blog friend Clay in The Potter's Hand. The rules are simple, google your first name with needs behind it. List the first 10 results. You should go read her list, it is all sweet, mine? Well take a look. This is what I got,

1. Tiff needs love and support! (we are starting out good here....)

2. Tiff needs bigger breast (how quickly we digress)

3. Tiff needs a dreamhouse.

4. Tiff needs a dreamhouse.

5. Tiff needs a dreamhouse.

6. Tiff needs to be stopped. (from what?)

7. Tiff needs a dreamhouse.

8. Tiff needs love.

9. Tiff needs a dreamhouse. (I am totally not making this up people)

and last but certainly not least

10. Tiff needs to pray.

So, I think I better get packing, since it seems I will be getting a dreamhouse soon! :)

Thanks Heart! This was fun. I tag Blueprint baby, and Me, I am my kids teacher, but only if you really want to.

Butt Paste

2008-08-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

Monkey being sick has created an impressive rash on the poor boys bottom. Thank God for Butt paste right? At least that is what Monkey is doing.

Monkey and Me conversing during diaper change today:

'Mommy, I need Butt Paste.'

'Okay, does your rash hurt.'

'Uh-huh, Mommy, I WUV butt paste, I WUV butt paste, I weally weally WUV butt paste. '

'You do love butt paste huh?'

'Butt Paste makes me feel better. I WUV butt paste, wuv butt paste. Butt paste makes my poopy hole feel better. I WUV WUV WUV butt paste. Butt paste feel good. Butt paste smell good. I WUV WUV WUV butt paste. It makes me feel better. '

I start applying Butt Paste.

'OHHHHH MOMMY! That butt paste makes my bottom feel good. Thank you mommy, thank you. I WUV WUV WUV butt paste. Uh-huh I do, Uh-huh I do. I WUV butt paste. Thank you mommy thank you.'

I am now laughing hysterically.

Monkey starts singing, 'I wuv butt paste. I wuv butt paste. It makes my poopy hole feel better. I wuv wuv wuv butt paste.'

Me laughing even harder now.

'Mommy give me the butt paste.'

I give him the butt paste, he starts kissing it, hugging it, and smelling it. Saying 'I wuv you!'Hey, you think I could get a commercial out of his love for butt paste?

Spunky is 7!

2008-08-12T01:31:00.003-05:00

Well, today is my girls birthday. Yep 7 years ago, after 21.5 hours of labor (had to throw that in somehow) my baby girl was born. I won't lie to ya'll, this one has been a bit hard on me. Some years just sound so much older than the last. Time really is flying, but more on that later...

Spunky, she is just that, full of spunk. Outgoing, funny, dimple faced, sweet hearted, gracious, strong willed, strong, and brave. Her Daddy and I are loving watching her grow and mature on the outside, as the team leader of our family, and most importantly in her relationship with Jesus.

Happy Birthday Spunk! I love you and am so proud of you!

The Headache

2008-08-11T10:09:00.001-05:00

So Monkey is feeling better, wanting to eat everything in site, specifically pizza, even more specifically Cici's pizza. So we went the other night.

Now he is still on steroids, so I am cautious-watching him like a hawk-so as not to push, bite, scream, or have a break down among the public. He was doing well, however, and the arcade was calling, and I could see it from where I was sitting, so I let him and Spunky venture away (at least it feels away to them).

Pretty soon there was a screaming match, I was pretty sure one was Monkey. Before I could get out of the seat here comes Spunky dragging Monkey behind. She informs me that another boy and Monkey just got in a screaming fight. Being a little unclear what happened exactly, I take Monkey back in, stopping by the five year old's mom's table on the way, to have him apologize.

I go up to the boy, Monkey in tow, and ask:

'Did he scream at you? He is here to say sorry.'

'Yeah,' rubbing his forehead, very seriously, with his thumb and forefinger, 'it sure did give me a headache.'

Me, stifling a laugh, tyring to talk, stifling another laugh, 'Uh, well he wants to say he is sorry. Monkey what do you say?'

Monkey, 'Sorry.'

'It's okay kid, come on back when you got some quarters.' Five year old with a headache.

Pain

2008-08-09T11:05:00.003-05:00

The hardest part of my children's illness, for me, is the pain. The doctor's, medications, research, weighing, cooking etc. are time consuming, and sometimes overwhelming, but the worst part is watching them hurt. I had a small stomach ache recently and was reminded of how much a tummy ache HURTS! I was found on the toilet (oh come on you all do it) tears in eyes, not from my pain. It's just that every time I hurt I think of Spunky, and now possibly Monkey, hurting everyday.

This has posed a little, wait-I would say big, parenting problem as well. There is a fine line between empathy and coddling. What I mean is, pain will be a part of their life until a cure is found or a miracle performed. I don't want to completely ignore the pain, acting as if it isn't even there. I don't want them to just give in to it, and miss life in the process, but my mommies heart would prefer to cradle them and tell them they don't have to do anything they don't want to do. What I do is a mixture of the two, the right mixture? I hope.

I have tried to put Spunky's health in her hands, as is age appropriate. Always encouraging her to take an active part in the decisions. Since the time she was 3 she would go get a book and lay down if she hurt. She now times it herself, and if it doesn't go away on it's own she will ask for her pain medicine. Right now we are working on her taking more of the lead at her doctor's appointments. She is doing wonderfully with this, speaking up and telling what feels like what. I am only having to fill in how often etc.

I can tell you one thing. These kids are stronger from all of this. More in touch and aware of their bodies then other children their age. They amaze me everyday. I want this to be a piece of their life, not all of it.

Ode' to my AC

2008-08-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

The gentle air you breathe on me

making me tingle to my knees.

Sending chills up and down my spine

extravagant, luxurious, divine.

I'll never forget what you do for me

others though, they don't really see

What life would be like without you by my side

cooling me off during this extreme heat ride.

I love you AC, oh yes I do

even in the heat you make my lips blue.

Injured

2008-08-06T00:01:00.002-05:00

If you see a 30 something year old mom of three walking a little stiff, and sitting a little bit like a pregnant women minus the belly that would be me. I am tailbone injured.

While vacationing at Table Rock Lake this weekend in Missouri I decided that just good ol' fashioned wake boarding wasn't enough. I decided to jump the wake, do a knee bend-you know the kind, wake board to head kind of a gig-when I missed judged the jumped and smashed the end of board right in to my rear end. I landed the jump despite the injury though.

Not really, that is how cool I seem to perceive myself. The Truth? I sat on a seat belt wrong while getting in to a go cart with spunky. Yep you heard me right, while getting in, the go cart wasn't even running. It hurt I tell you, it still hurts. Although not as bad as the time I broke it, skydiving....oh wait, maybe I just fell out of a bed, but it was in Europe so that is cool right?

My poor kids, they have no idea the embarrassment I will bring them!

Omega 3

2008-08-05T08:56:00.002-05:00

The question of Omega 3's has plagued me for some time. The question you ask? Why you mean you don't stay up at night pondering the Omega question? I would never present the question to you if I had not found the answer, so as not to cause you a sleepless night, but since my nights are now only sleepless do to other pondering issues, and because of my recent discovery of the Omega answer, I will be so obliged to offer the question, as well as, the answer.

Why, if Omega 3's are SO important to our bodies, did the Lord only make them highly available on the coast? It doesn't seem right does it, I mean what about Pa, Ma, Mary, and Laura? They couldn't go get freshly frozen mackerel or tuna. They couldn't run to the nearest health food store to buy some fish oil or flaxseed oil in a dark container that had to be kept cold in order to help them lower their cholesterol, blood pressure, and inflammatory process in the body. If it is so great for our bodies, why is it only found on the coast?

It's not. Venison and Buffalo. The only two red meats with Omega 3's. Unbelievable isn't it? Pa and Ma probably had more Omega 3's in their diets than any of us do. Luckily, I married a hunter, something I didn't consider beneficial to my life in any way until my recent discovery. Venison is now added into the weekly rotation. Last week, venison tacos. This week? Venison sloppy joes maybe? It might take me a bit to get used to it, but look out inflammation-hunter hubby has his sights on you.

The Vision

2008-08-04T11:59:00.005-05:00

So Natalie at I AM (not) is hosting the At the Well discussion on family vision. Hop on over and read the wisdom she has printed. We attended the Family Vision Conference she is referring to and were greatly blessed by it. It is true, writing down and creating your vision spiritually changes your family. There are times when we refer to it when making decisions, school decisions, curriculum decisions, extra curricular decisions, service decisions, and church decisions have all been effected by the vision we established. 'Does this go with or against our family vision?', we ask when making the 'big' choices.

We have it printed and hung for all to read, and I just got it printed to put in the children's room. We also refer to our family verse often. Here it is posted for you:

'Our family mission is that every descendant will have a close personal relationship with the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Our love for Jesus will manifest itself through honesty, generosity, thankfulness, reliability, and servanthood. We will diligently seek God, living cheerfully by His standards, while being led by the Holy Spirit. We will emphasize family unity through close, loving, respectful relationships with each member. We will create a safe encouraging environment that allows God to minister through us. Our cup will not be half full or half empty, but will runneth over.'

Family verse:
'The Lord has told you, human, what is good;
he has told you what he wants from you:
to do what is right to other people,
love being kind to others,
and live humbly, obeying your God.' Micah 6:8

Now who doesn't want to be part of that family? Seriously, find a conference and go, you will be SO blessed by it!

Thanks Natalie for bringing up this wonderful topic.

God Show's Up-Part 5 Provision

2008-08-03T22:59:00.004-05:00

The Lord has provided for us in so many ways during this time I don't even know where to begin. I could begin with the Mimi and Papa's bringing over food, going to doctor appointments, and spending the night to help. I could begin with mother-in-law staying for a few days cooking, cleaning, and playing. I could start with the aunts babysitting at any given moment, for however long is needed. I could mention all the prayers, phone calls, and words of encouragement. I could talk about the staff at church taking time out to pray over my children, and give us Godly encouragement. I could mention all of our friends who work at Children's Hospital who took time away from their families to sit with us, pray with us, teach us, cry with us, laugh with us, and bring us cokes when needed. I could talk about the physicians who are taking care of my children-they call me often, answer my questions, push us through, and rearrange schedules for us. I could begin with all the friends in our lives who are in the medical profession who have come over late at night to check on our boy, who have done x-rays and labs for free, who have answered a bazillion and one questions for free, and who have rearranged their lives to be available to us. Or I could begin with our Life Group, who got together and told us they didn't want us to be worried about money right now, so they were going to cover our $5000 deductible. I couldn't even begin to tell you the blessings and favor the Lord has poured out on us through his people.

Thank you. We are humbled by your love and generosity to us. We are praying the Lord poor out spiritual, physical, relational, financial, and eternal blessings on your families. We are thanking the Lord for His work in your lives. Thank you.

'You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!' 2 Corinthians 9:11-15

God Show's Up Part 4-Hope

2008-07-29T01:10:00.003-05:00

Friday morning the phone rings (2 days after the colonoscopy). The biopsies were normal. 'Does this mean he doesn't have Crohn's?' I ask as my heart beat begins to race a little. 'Not necessarily, but I need a Cat Scan. I need to rule out any appendix problem, or abscess.' The Dr. replies. I quick cut Monkey off food and water, called in the troops who activated quickly, and got that boy to the Children's ER for a CT. It was a long day, it was a hard day, emotions were raging, heads were spinning, and phones were ringing!

I was afraid to get my hopes up. I was afraid to be excited only to be disappointed. I felt tired. My husband felt the same. I didn't know if I could handle another emotional roller coaster ride. The Holy Spirit, while pouring out God's love for us, put the same thing on both of our hearts. God is a God of Hope. He wants us to hope, whether for 2 minutes or for 10 hours, he wants us to hope. Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy anything that is of God. This includes our hope. If the results came back clear, and the diagnoses remained, we were in the same spot we were in right now. We couldn't change the results, we only had control of the path. We could walk in hope, or we could walk in fear and worry. We choose to hope in our Lord.

So hope is what we did. In a little room in the ER, with one upset little Monkey, we put our hope in the Lord. Hoping Crohn's was not in his body, hoping he was well, hoping this had all been some weird little appendix problem. I'll be honest, it wasn't the best time of life. Monkey had a terrible time, we were worn out, and hungry. No one is really happy in an ER. Despite all this we remained hopeful. We spent eight hours 'overflowing with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.' (Romans 15:13) It was incredible. Amazingly divine.

The cat scan was normal. We might have been the only parents in the world not wanting to hear that news, but it didn't matter. We had chosen God's path, the path of hope. Satan had stole nothing. Our hope is in the Lord.

'Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us' Romans 5:1-5

God Show's Up Part 3-Praise

2008-07-24T01:11:00.001-05:00

So the day of my temper tantrum my husband came home. He comforted me, and he lead me in the direction I needed to go. "We will praise Him. We will praise Him no matter what, we will always praise Him." I wasn't feeling the praise yet, but my rock hubby, through his tears and disappointment, prayed words of praise to our Father. In this I found comfort, I felt the Lord near.

The next day Joel and Sara, my sweet gift from Jesus, were here hanging out. They are youth pastors at a church in Sweden and were anxious to go to church in America. Since they wanted to see the kids program too, and since Monkey was managing okay, we decided to hit LifeChurch.tv 2 times on Saturday, and then a different church Sunday morning. It ended up they didn't have enough, and my parents could keep the kiddos, so we attended LifeChurch.tv on Sunday night also. Never in my life have I attended church four times in one weekend, never would I have thought this to be logistically possible with 3 children - especially one not feeling well. Hmm? The Lord's timing is always perfect.

So we sit down in the first service. The praise and worship starts, I am doing a little conversing with the Lord in my head. 'Okay, I am going to praise you, and I love you. But could you meet here? Right now? Throw me a bone Lord, let me know Your heart. This hurts, it is to hard, I can't do it, I don't want to do it. Help.' My husband is down the role holding sweet, skinny, sick little Monkey. The next song begins, it is Casting Crowns 'Praise You in this Storm'. I honestly don't remember ever hearing this song before. I must have, surely, but it was brand new this time. We get to the chorus;

'And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm'

Tears are pouring down my face, I can't sing, I can't see, but I feel Him. I feel His peace. I see my husbands hand go up as he rests his head on Monkey's. I manage to raise my hand in praise. By the fourth service of the weekend, when this song started, my husband and I locked arms, raised our hands, and sang these words loudly through smiles and tears. We will praise Him.
'And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm'

It was wonderful. At this moment, all I wanted to do was praise Him. The Holy Spirit had transformed my heart, it took 4 church services, but now I was resting in the Lord. Joel and Norm both play guitar, and the only songs they knew the same? Praise and worship. Sarah? She sings beautifully. We praised the Lord, and praised the Lord, and rejoiced in His presence.

Remember the verse:
'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' Phillipians 4:4-7

I hear verse 7 referenced often, but there is a requirement so to speak in the prior verses. Rejoice, don't worry, pray and petition, give thanks, and then the peace of God will show up.

I love the way the Message says vs. 6 and 7:
'Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.'

I couldn't have said it better myself! :)

Anniversary

2008-07-22T23:54:00.000-05:00

I was planning on posting our 'love story' (think the love boat theme as you read that phrase) today because we have now been married for an entire DECADE! 10 years went by pretty fast! Instead I am prepping monkey for a scope tomorrow. (now do the downer debbie 'wah wah wah..') My dear sweet parents are keeping the kids while we have a late dinner, maybe I can squeak 2 dates out of this one? Huh? What do you think girls?

But I do want to say:

Happy 10 years babe! I love you more now than ever. You are my rock. I can't wait for 10 more!

Oh, and to those who said we wouldn't last because we only knew each other 10 weeks before running off to vegas (that is a teaser if I've ever heard one) this is for you:

That is totally not us by the way :)

God Shows Up Part 2-Worry

2008-07-21T10:23:00.001-05:00

Timing is everything right? I was all confused about the Lord's timing in bringing The Swedes while Monkey was so sick, and only one day after starting a work up for Crohn's. I really wanted to wallow in my sorrow for a little longer than a day, not much, but a little. I thought my head would be focused on the GI appointment scheduled for the following Tuesday, and I was sad I wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the cousins like I had been looking forward to. Even though this was all in my head, I had a feeling the Lord was up to something. 'Let's see what you got for me God.' I told Him.

Jesus hand delivered a nice, big, present with one of those HUGE red bows on top to my front door in the form of the most amazing Swedish couple, Joel and Sarah. We were around them for a total of one hour before we felt like we were hanging out with old friends. The fire for Jesus in them was contagious. Knowing they were leaving, and not knowing when we would see them again I wanted to be in the moment every moment. I wasn't worrying about Tuesday, it would be here soon enough. I was able to live out the scriptures:

'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34
and
'He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.' Psalms 112:7

It was the purest form of God's family, and the most amazing time of peace that surpasses all understanding I have ever experienced. It was so amazing I could never do it justice with words. We were able to operate in our giftings, and them in theirs, while blessing each other with prayer, relationship, praise, tears, and laughter. We didn't want them to leave. The timing could not have been more perfect. Thank you Jesus for this sweet gift!

God Show's Up

2008-07-20T10:45:00.000-05:00

It seems like I had just termed this summer the 'slip and slide summer' because that was our intent for the summer, lots of slipping and lots of sliding. Our plans were lots of water play in June and August, lots of company in July, a little bit of school, a lot of loving that new nephew of ours, and maybe a few weekend trips here and there. How quickly things changed.

Our sweet monkey went from looking like this

To looking like this (this smile was a rare sight in the past 6 weeks)

Wow, what a change huh? 8 pounds in about 6 weeks. It started with what we thought was a 24 hour stomach virus, followed by a down week, then strep throat and the trip to the ER, he started having more GI symptoms, he had a constant low grade fever, and just never bounced back to his normal wild man self. Things started to seem a little to familiar, Spunky was diagnosed with Crohn's disease at the age of 2, and although things weren't exactly the same, the pain, weight loss, the fever, and the smell were taking us back. We were trying to hold out hope because of how rare it would be to have siblings in the same family diagnosed so young. After lots of X-rays, blood test, stool test, and doctors our monkey was officially diagnosed with Crohn's last Friday. We are prepping him for his colonoscopy this Wednesday as I type.

I had a good feeling I knew what we were dealing with, but when his pediatrician called 2 weeks ago, and voiced her concerns out loud, I melted. I spent a day having a tantrum with the Lord. I never actually got on the ground kicking and screaming, but if you could have heard what was going on inside you would know it was a full fledged certified 2 year old tantrum. I was mad, sad, confused, and hopeless. I felt completely overwhelmed. 'Lord, you got the wrong family. I can't manage one more medical issue. I am not this strong.' I cried, I yelled, I bargained.

I told Him it wasn't fair. I asked 'WHY? If you love them more than me, and if you love me.. WHY?' I quit answering the phone after one to many 'It could be worse.' My only answer to this statement being 'It could be a heck of a lot better too.' I talked to a few friends, they cried with me, thankfully offering no encouragement-I wasn't up for hearing it anyway. I went from what this would do to Monkey's life-the constant pain, managing a chronic illness, life of blood test, doctor's appt etc. (which we already know to well), to what this would do to me. I felt my dreams disappearing with every medical bill that came in, I feared having to go back to work as I warded off this suggestion from those who don't understand our calling to homeschool. I felt weight. Heavy weight bearing down on me. I asked the Lord to be merciful with me, but to not let me stay here long. I knew He was big enough to handle my tantrum, but for the sake of my family I didn't want to dwell here.

The next day, I was cleaning and crying, wondering about the Lord's timing in bringing our Swedish cousins right now of all times. I kept thinking 'Hebrews.' I kept cleaning. 'Hebrews, Tiff, Hebrews.' I kept crying, I have way to much to do to stop and read Hebrews. The word Hebrews began to consume me, and suddenly I found myself with no kids awake, no hubby, and a clean house. This in itself was a miracle. 'Okay God, I'm pretty mad right now, but let's see what you got for me.'

'Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet he did not sin. Let us approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.' Hebrews 4: 14-16

'During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered.' Hebrews 5:7,8

I was reminded that the Lord understood my pain more than anyone. He too listened to His son cry and plead through tears to make this all stop. He watched His son suffer more pain than we can imagine. I was reminded that He has plans for my kids. This isn't about me, it isn't really about Monkey, this is about bringing God glory. Once again in my minds eye, I walked Monkey up to Isaac's altar and laid him before God. He was His first, and I certainly don't want to stand in the way of all His fullness for Him.

Now I was weeping. The tears were different this time. Of course I was still sad, still confused, still tired, but the Lord is with me. He empathizes with me. He, Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God, The King of all Kings, met me in my living room chair on a sunny Thursday afternoon through my tears, to let me know how truly sorry He is for the pain in my family. He extended His hand of grace to comfort me in my time of need. I will hold firmly to the faith I profess.

I am excited and humbled to be able to post more about how the Lord has comforted and provided for us during the last 2 weeks, stayed tuned!

Culture Differences

2008-07-15T19:15:00.000-05:00

So I have been hanging out with the Swedes all week (in case you are wondering I asked and 'The Swedes' is not at all offensive-whew!) There is nothing like a little culture to make you appreciate America, and laugh at America. Let me share some of my insight-

One of the best discoveries The Swedes found was the list of churches in the yellow pages. They couldn't believe how many churches were in this area...'4 0r 5 pages worth', as they are now telling others. This is incredible to two on fire Christians living in a country where only 1% of people attend church and only 70% of those are christian. Makes you think a little about how much we Americans, myself included, complain about how this isn't perfect, or that isn't perfect in our church doesn't it? We should be thanking the Lord we have choices.

After leaving Mardel's (the first time, they are actually there again right now with my hubby) they thanked me for taking them to 'a little piece of heaven'. There are a few big name books in a few of their bookstores, but mostly they have to order online from American companies any non-secular books or CD's. Ok confession time, the last time I went to Mardel's I left just a tiny itsy bit irritated because the book I was looking for had to be ordered and wouldn't be in for 4 days. Oops.

Gas in Sweden, close to $8 dollars a gallon. 'Oh, but they have good public transportation.' They do, but it cost $3 or $4 to make a one way trip. The gas is cheaper. In order to pay for this trip they only drove to work on Monday's, stopping at the store on the way home, and rode their bikes the other days. This bought them a 6 week trip to South America and the United States. So here I go, I am going to say it, Thank you Lord for $3.75 a gallon gas.

Food-everything is twice as much-everything.

Homeschooling, completely illegal. A social worker would come and take their children. If for some reason they didn't, the children would no longer be able to attend University. This is one of the saddest ones to me. The next saddest is that it is virtually impossible for a woman to stay home with her children. The government pays for daycare, runs the daycare, and controls the daycare. If a woman wants to stay home, they almost always have to have other children in their home. Okay, this one makes me get on my knees and thank the Lord for where I live.

What we think of as Swedish meatballs-NOT Swedish meatballs. The real thing, a million times better!

Buying anything in the middle of the night, impossible, 24 hour stores are non exsistent. So next time your child is sick and you are mumbling about having to get out of bed at 3am to go to the 24 hour pharmacy, try, just try, to be thankful there is a store open.

It is absolutely, totally, and completely embarassing that when you have a melon in a vegetable bag the lady at the check out puts it in another plastic bag to carry home. Although the non-greenness of this is humiliating, it makes for a great belly laugh when with a Swede.

We say neat way more than you realize. 'That is neat.' 'Oh how neat.' 'Wow, neat.'

And last, but certainly not least, my American hamburgers, the ones I cook out on my grill at home, are 'brilliant'...not good, great, wonderful, or delicious...brilliant people, brilliant.

The Swedes

2008-07-12T11:23:00.001-05:00

When we began attending LifeChurch.tv 8 years ago, I knew good things would come. I did not, however, expect it to connect us to a distant cousin in Sweden. Let me explain...

My husbands grandparents come to America from Sweden when they were 18 years old. His grandfather had 12 sibling, all of who are still in Sweden. My mother-in-law was blessed enough to be able to attend a family reunion in Sweden last year, where she found herself sitting on a porch with Joel, her second cousin. He is talking about his love for Jesus, his wonderful bride, and the church he is youth pastor in. She says 'You remind me of my son.'
To which he replies 'Where does your son live?'
She says 'Oklahoma.'
He says 'Really, what church does he go to?'
She, thinking this is a rather bizarre question coming from a man who lives in Sweden, replies 'A church called Life church.'
'LifeChurch.tv? Craig? I know this, I listen on my Ipod every week.' He says, much to her astonishment.
Obviously this was no coincidence, that out of a 100+ people she ends up sitting next to him, so they exchange emails, and a promise to pass the information over to my husband. After several emails, a few phone calls, and some prayers, we picked Joel and Sarah up at the OKC airport Thursday afternoon! We are so bonded with them already that Norm and I have already committed to going to Sweden sometime, even if we are all 60! What a fun God we have, to bring our Swedish cousins, who are also are sweet brother and sister in Christ, to hang out with.

Perception vs. Reality

2008-07-08T22:36:00.000-05:00

I still feel 18. When a teenager calls me ma'am or Mrs. I am baffled. I respond in ways that old people use to respond to me, 'Mrs is my mother, just call me..' In my head I am secretly thinking they are fooled by all the children running around my ankles into believing that I am a mature adult worthy of a respectful title. I actually believe that if they had bumped into me with out the kids they would never have opened that door for me, and would have said something like 'Wass up?' This in itself should probably clue me in since I am fairly certain that teenagers today do not say 'Wass up?' like we did in the early 90's.

All this thinking in my head is one thing, but on occasion my actions let it slip that my perception of myself is quit different than the reality of my situation. I am not 18 after all I am 33. Recently, this reality hit me head on.

So here I am at the park with my children, my nieces, and my nephews, and I started thinking 'who is going to teach these homeschooled kids all those fun playground things like knee turns?' See when I was a child, one of the only things I remember excelling at was knee turns on the bar. I could turn with the best of them. The kind where you flip a knee over, put your arms under locking your hands on your knee, leave the other leg dangling, and start rocking until you are making full turns around the bar. Now when I was little I would do 20-30 turns at one time. This was the game, to see who could do the most turns.

It certainly never occurred to me that these extremely bright, imaginative children could happen on this crucial piece of childhood themselves. It never occurred to me that they play a lot with many children who could possibly have learned this pertinent piece of play and shown our children. It didn't even cross my mind that they could actually live a happy, full, and productive life without ever having done one knee turn. No, in a matter of seconds I knew what had to be done, and I was just the 18 year old to do it.

I yell at the girls to come on over I want to teach them something. As they are coming over, I begin giving myself a little lecture in my head. It went something like this,
'Now don't do to much. You haven't done this in awhile and you don't want to get hurt. You should probably only do about, oh I don't know, say 5 turns. Just enough for the girls to really see how to do it, but not enough that you will hurt yourself.'
This is where perception and reality collide.

I climbed up on that bar, swung my leg over, locked my arms, and started rocking. I expectantly kicked that dangling leg as hard as I could. 'See girls, if you just kick this leg you can get some momentum and start turning around the bar.' I just rocked, and I rocked, and I rocked. My brain began to register that maybe I had been a little eager beaver in my only 5 commentary. My elbows began to hurt, the back of my knee was really starting to hurt, the girls were all standing hands on hips, waiting for whatever feat I had deemed important enough for an audience. It was getting hard to breathe, the sweat was pouring and I was starting to realize that I could really pull something, something that I need, but my pride had the better of me. I was determined to get around that bar one time.

The girls, getting tired of watching a crazy mom/aunt rock back and forth while hanging like a schizophrenic monkey in front of the entire suburbia neighborhood, run off to play, but not before delivering the final punch 'I LOVE to do those knee turns Aunt Fifi.' How sweet.

I rounded the bar, once. The entire back of my leg was black, I had a limp, I did pull something that I certainly needed, and I couldn't straighten my arms for a week. Did I mention I rounded the bar, once?

'Reality, let me introduce you, this is Perception. Perception this is Reality."
'Nice to meet you Mrs. Perception."
'Wass Up Reality?'

When is Daddy coming home?

2008-07-08T22:28:00.000-05:00

The Legacy

2008-07-08T01:32:00.001-05:00

A 50 year old woman collapsed and died this evening due to a baseball sized brain tumor. There were no signs, one of those rare, jaw dropping cases. No headaches, no vision changes, no exhaustion. When looking back at the past few weeks the only thing her husband and children could pin point as pretty strange was that she had spoken negatively about a few people in her life. Not to their face, not cussing or saying anything untrue about them, just stating some facts about the negative aspects of others personalities. This was the change. It was weird enough the daughters were shocked and disturbed, obviously they didn't think brain tumor, but they knew something was not right with their mother. They had never heard her speak negative words about another person, ever. What a testimony. What a legacy.

Be thankful for each and every breath you have been given, it really is a gift.

Conversations

2008-07-02T15:38:00.000-05:00

To all of you have the video player on in the car, turn it off. The conversations that will arise are more entertaining than any DVD, I promise. Case in point............

"Mom why does red mean stop?" Spunky

"Well, I am not really sure. That was just the color chosen to mean stop." Me

Brief Pause

"Mom?"

"UmHum?" (Smile forming on my lips)

"Why does green mean go?" Spunky

"Not sure Spunk, green just means go."

Long Pause. Waiting for it, waiting, waiting....I know it is going to come....waiting, waiting.........

"Mom? Why does yellow mean wait?"

And there it is.

BABY!

2008-06-30T09:34:00.000-05:00

The reason I have not been blogging would be a sweet little 8lb 4 oz nephew who was born Friday night around 10:15 after 27 hours of labor (not a typo people). I was honored to get to act as doula for my precious sis-in-law (we really should drop the in law but it confuses the heck out of people) who did an amazing job going with the flow after being told to go home from the hospital after 15 hours of labor. She ended up going all natural, despite her desire for an epidural, but you wouldn't even have known she was planning on one. No Screaming people, she knew what she had to do, and she did it. Impressive! Isn't he sweet?

Missions

2008-06-25T23:12:00.000-05:00

I just did my nightly reads of the blog world, good to be back after a rough bout of sickness in my family, and feel compelled only to lead you to others.

I read these stories while praying and crying. The Lord reminds me it is not my season right now. I am on my mission field at home for the time, but I pray that one day I will be sent. I long to be awed and amazed at the pure natural faith other cultures experience. I long to be brought deeper in my faith of Him by trying to show His love to others. I have a special place in my heart for Africa because of my two sweet Rwanda nephews who arrived in the states to officially join the family this past January. They are such a blessing to us.

So grab your Kleenex, mark these sweet orphans and missionaries on your prayer board, and ask the Lord to show you what mission He is wanting you to do.

Deeper Still, Trophy of Grace, 4 Him ministries, Blueprint Baby, and Blessed from Above.

Oh and I have to plug my favorite local mission Rock Island, go HERE to read there blog (click on Blog and News to read one of my-sock it to me-reads called 'Put in Everything')

'Real Religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world. The Royal Rule of Love.' James 1:27 The Message

Mama Knows Best

2008-06-23T17:13:00.000-05:00

Life was grand, while I was posting my CVS blog, the baby was napping, Spunky, and Monkey were out back on their new custom made playground that Daddy had just finished the night before. My mom had just stopped by with a Sonic Diet Dr. Pepper (gotta love mom), when Monkey came in a little whiny and whimpering. His faced flushed, his skin hot to touch, and acting pretty tired. I waved it off that they were playing outside and put him down for his nap. Upon awaking, his temp was 102 and he was not feeling well.

The next day, both Spunky and Monkey were throwing up, the latter with blood. I spoke with his Dr. who wanted a strep test (thankfully a member of our Life Group works in a lab and just popped on over to test him and Spunky)....positive. At this point, he had not been eating or drinking much for days, he was extremely lethargic, and still had a high fever with Tylenol on board. After many calls to his pediatrician, my brother the physician, and three physicians from our Life group-two of whom came over to look at him-we ended up in the ER. It was agreed that he was okay, but lacking a wet diaper in 12 hours is a bit panicky for an RN mommy like me, and the physicians who did a house call for us (with prayer-gotta love that!) felt like if we waited utnil morning there could be trouble.

So we wait in the ER for 5 hours to be seen. His temp spikes again, and his heart rate felt to high and thready for me, so I asked them to take his vitals again. They did, and sent him back to a room immediately. The Dr. came in, took a brief look at him, and told me he thought if I went home and gave him popsicles, he would probably be okay. I had tried popsicles, he threw them up. He gave me a ton of reasons why I shouldn't make this kid get an IV, but said 'Your the mom though so I will if you really want.' I faltered, after waiting 5 hours, having 4 physician who know my son personally tell me to go and get fluid, and being an RN myself who was seeing visible signs of dehydration, increased heart rate, etc., I still waivered. I thought 'what if he is right and I make them stick this poor kid for no reason, maybe I should have just tried harder to get liquid down him' etc. etc. Then I decided NO, I wasn't crazy, I know him, I know what he needs, I want the fluid. This decision didn't make everyone very happy, actually they were visibly annoyed with me, until seeing Monkey after the fluid was in him and the instant visible change that occurred.

I am pro-medical attention (I am an RN for goodness sake), don't get me wrong. I am so blessed to have so many well trained qualified people in my life that care about my family and are willing to help me. Here is my lesson:

YOUR THE MAMA YOU KNOW BEST! Don't be afraid to listen to your gut. Don't be afraid to speak up and tell them what you want to happen. And don't be afraid to find a Dr. who wants to hear what you think. When you are in a crisis you want to be able to refer to the Dr., but if your gut tells you something different...Push. Be polite, but be firm. You are your childs advocate.

Off the soap box, and on my way to clean up some more puke.

CVS - Part 2

2008-06-20T12:46:00.000-05:00

Total Price $34.86

I think I did something wrong.

CVS - Part 1

2008-06-20T12:13:00.000-05:00

So all I have been hearing about lately is CVS this CVS that. I am not to savvy on coupons. Because I am not a name brand junkie I buy generic and have found that coupons don't really save me money, but just take up my time. I am however a sucker for FREE stuff, so when the word 'free' or 'money maker' started floating around it got my attention.

I started my reasearch at money saving mom. Now this lady is inspiring, she spends a whopping $10 on groceries every month, okay maybe it is a bit more than that, but still she is impressive. I read her CVS 101, which helped, but my ADD was kicking in and the whole thing was a bit overwhelming. She linked to Life as Mom who had an ADD proof primer. So I got my Extra Care Card, wrote down exactly what she said to buy, and carried around the piece of paper for a few weeks. Then I realized the end of June was nearing, and if I didn't want to have to do my research again I better get moving.

When I finally got around to CVS, they were sold out of all 3 items on my primer list! WHAT!! So here I am in CVS, sleeping baby in arms, toddler boy knocking down the sunglass display that had to have been placed next to the balls by a teenager becuase anyone with children would have known that was a bad idea, six year old girl bumping in to everything while trying to help by pushing the cart, and 9 month pregnant sister-in-law, who I had brought to teach the CVS thing to (don't even get me started on why I thought I could teach this before I had ever even done it before)giving me this sweet 'You don't think I am going to pick all those up do you?' look. At this point I would have paid CVS $100 just to not have been there. Why was I here again? Oh yeah, free stuff.

Growth

2008-06-19T23:54:00.000-05:00

We have growth...wait does that mean I learned something?

Privacy

2008-06-16T23:18:00.000-05:00

My daughter, at the wise old age of two, was pooping on the pot one day. I came in the bathroom to check on her and see if she was ready for the wipe, one of those job descriptions of motherhood that I had never actually considered.

Spunky wasn't quite done and requested that my presence diminish, by this I mean she wanted me out. I knew we were close to the end, and to be honest I didn't necessarily believe her that there was more to come. I didn't want to walk the entire 8 steps down my hall and 8 steps back so I just stayed. Our conversation went something like this..

'Come on, just finish, it's alright I am your mommy, I can be in here.'
'I want my privacy.'
'Come on girl, I will wait.'
'I want to be alone. Leave. I want my privacy.' At this point I am sure she has no idea what privacy really is. She is merely repeating what she has heard me say after she comes barreling in (with toys in tow) to my bathroom, while I am trying to BM, or hide out, or whatever else I do in there.
'Just finish, I will just hang out with you.'

'Remember that scripture song that goes do to others what you want them to do to you? I think you should do that right now.'

What is a mother to do when her two year old pulls out some scripture to set her in her place? Politely smile, excuse herself, shut the door and walk the 8 steps.

Never say Never

2008-06-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

I felt the pull not to long ago. Here I was, voicing how utterly nuts I thought those grinding, kneading, whole wheat baking bread ladies were, when in total frustration at the cost of healthy alternatives I began ranting to the Lord 'IF there was something cheaper, better for you, AND taste better I would do it.' The first thing that entered my mind 'bread'. Had I just promised the Daddy I would do that? Surely not?

In my life I have said I would never (the short list)

1. Live in Oklahoma
2. Homeschool
3. Have children 2 years apart
4. Make my own bread

Let me clarify, as I have mentioned before I am a talker, so I didn't just sit in a sweet corner and say ever so politely 'I don't think I would ever do that.' I VOICED how there was nothing in this world that could ever or would ever make me do all those CRAZY things. I VOICED them to just about every person in my life.

My life now (the short list)
1. I live in Oklahoma
2. I homeschool
3. I have 2 children 2 years and 5 days apart
4. I bake my own bread
and LOVING IT!

You would think I would learn to never say never. Just keeping me humble....

(oh dear sweet hubby, I would NEVER EVER EVER have any more children ;)

The Laundry Mat

2008-06-10T22:49:00.000-05:00

Any person that has ever discussed a marital issue, trial, or even mentions the fact that they have a spouse has at some point heard me say "Have I ever told you the laundry mat story? No? The year was 1998..." I feel I have been here long enough, it is time, so...The year was 1998...

I was newly married, by 3 months, knowing my husband for a whooping 3 months 10 weeks, but that is in itself a whole different story (an awesome love story of the amazing redemptive power of the grace of God and definitely just as worthy of some blog time...eventually). Needless to say, I hadn't a clue what this wife thing was all about. I was hacking my way, pretty miserably if I do say so myself, through this new found role in life. Shocking was how stubborn and set in my ways a hippie beach head already was at the tender age of 23. The startling realization that something pretty big was going to have to change, and it was up to ME to change him was just setting in.

It was a sunny Sunday, the sound of waves in the distance, the seagulls flying gaily overhead, and the smell of salt seasoning the cool air. My newlywed hubby, Norm and I were in desperate need of some clean clothes, and although the ocean beckoned from down the way, one more day of play could not be had, there was work to be done. We packed up everything dirty, which essentially meant everything made of cloth, and headed to the laundry mat. It seems we were the only ones foolish enough to be missing such a glorious day on the beach, which allowed us full reign of the 25 machine mat. We began loading machine after machine with our filthy rags, putting in the .75 cents a load and working our way down the line. Things were looking up, maybe we could make it to the beach after all. We had everything loaded except his, which of course was now our, sleeping bag.

Let me pause here to explain that my husband buys BIG. By this I mean we have an industrial strength plunger instead of those silly rubber on a stick things you other people use, because bigger has to mean better. Or instead of a kitchen sprayer we have a garden hose sprayer, because bigger is, of course, better. Or when I sent him to the store to buy a rotating fan he came back with a fan that is taller than I am and louder than a gym during the state finals, because bigger is...well you get the point.

He begins to place, or to be a bit more descreptive, cram, shove, force, this 'bigger is better' sleeping bag into one of the little .75 cent washing machines. I immediately assume he has failed to see the huge $2.50 machines which would easily fit, and more appropriately clean, such a bag. In my best new non-seasoned, 'what in the world do you think you are doing' wife voice I begin to tell him what a bad idea this is and point out the HUGE $2.50 machines that he would have had to have been blind not to see. This does not make my new hubby, who was working so diligently at saving us a $1.75, very happy. He looks at me then continues what he was doing. In a unusual moment of clarity, I shut my mouth (trust me, this was rare). Even though my mouth was shut, I continued to get angrier and angrier that he wasn't doing it MY way, because I, after all, was the one responsible for any changes that were going to take place in him. I was telling God how crazy he was, how he wouldn't listen to me, and asking Him how I could get Norm to do what I wanted. I was seething in my rage (how small a thing to waste so much energy on), but I went on about the laundry while griping and complaining to God.

BANG! POP POP POP! In an instant, the 'bigger is better' sleeping bag machine was on fire. Flames were shooting everywhere, smoke filled the mat in a matter of seconds, and water and soap from the machine poured all over the floor. The details of the actual fire are a little fuzzy, what I do remember is my hero grabbed the extinguisher put out the fire and then wrestled the frenzied spraying hose down. There we were standing wet, speechless, breathless, in a smokey mat, with soapy water covering our feet. In an instant my heart knew what the Lord was teaching me.

The lessons are His and His alone. If I get out of the way, He will be happy to teach them, but I must first get out of the way. His ways of teaching and timing of teaching are different and much more effective than mine. And last, but certainly not least, He might actually have something to teach me in the process if I am willing to listen and learn.

What a sweet God I serve, to teach me such a powerful wife changing lesson at such an early point in my marriage.

Multitasking

2008-06-07T09:16:00.000-05:00

From 7 to 7:10 I was
Making waffles
making coffee
washing dishes
sipping coffee
cutting up fruit
drinking coffee
playing animal sounds with toddler
guzzling coffee
doing a load of laundry
downing coffee
all while carrying a baby and writing a blog in my head

Sound familiar anyone?

Birds

2008-06-06T07:20:00.000-05:00

At dinner the other night:

'Daddy we have been talking about birds. We looked up bird scriptures and there are a several, do you have a favorite bird scripture?' Mommy

'Let me think. The one about wings like eagles is a great one. What about you?' Daddy

'I love the one about the sparrows not falling without God knowing, so how much more does He love us. What about you spunk, do you have a favorite?' Mommy

'Uhmm.....My favorite is Matthew 8:20 'Foxes have holes and birds have nest, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.' 6 year old Spunky

The problem with homeschooling, they might surpass you quicker than you think.

Belly Flop

2008-06-03T00:43:00.000-05:00

When I took the plunge into the world of blog I was not quite sure what I was getting myself into. I envisioned myself confidently stepping on to the diving board, bouncing the mandatory 3 bounces (because everyone knows a good dive always follows a triple bounce), and gracefully entering the water, praying hands first, followed by my straight as a rod body, topped off by some beautiful ballet pointed toes, with hardly a splash worth mentioning. I emerged from the water, smile on face, fully confident that I still have it, even at the ripe old age of 33.

Then, some time later, I watched the video of my dive. Maybe by chance, maybe being gently steered in that direction from some good intentioned, well meaning husband or friend. Turns out that perfectly beautiful dive I had fabricated in my minds eye could probably win me $10,000 on America's Funniest Videos. That is, of course, if the hands down guaranteed to win hidden cam reel of a dog sneaking in to the refrigerator to eat the leftover pie hadn't made it the studio the same week. My dive was a belly flop. Arms flailing, legs kicking, red belly flop.

Hence the new look! In my morning stroll through blog lane I became aware of how utterly dreary my blog page was. I had chosen it on a whim. 'Retro' I thought 'so me.' But it was actually quit dismal. I needed a brighter look, an easier to read page, and a header. Yes, I have many ideas about a picture for my header-something that two months ago would have seemed so irrelevant appears to have become as important as the type of front door on my house. Those ideas will have to wait because, quit honestly, I don't have the skills or time to concern myself with them right now, but some day you will log on and find a fabulous front door beckoning you in for some coffee and a chat.

Besides, I feel as if I am still finding my fit in the world of blog. I still have so much to learn, (twitter what?). How can I already be so behind when I just begun? I took the plunge thinking this would be a quick and easy way to hone my writing skills, since my writing in the past six years has consisted of a few paragraphs here and there and a few children's books. I quickly realized that if I wanted anyone besides Me, I am my kids' teacher and Blueprint Baby to read my thoughts I would have to post a few pics of the kiddos. I was shocked at how important the whole commenting part of this whole thing is, and was forced to beg the forgiveness of the afore mentioned bloggers since I had been regularly reading yet not appropriately commenting. You don't have to search far to find my beginners naivety-the sidebar will suffice. I actually named blogs I read 'blogs I read' instead of referring to the list as my 'blog roll'. That stays, however. 'Blog roll' seems to more appropriately describe the catalog of blog ideas I have running through my head at any given moment, since I now look on most situations as to blog or not to blog?

I am sure there will be more changes to come. I will get my footing and find my place in this new dimension. Until then at least it is brighter, not so gloomy, and easier to read. And pic or no pic, I have my header.

Metals in May

2008-05-23T23:13:00.000-05:00

Last week was the Metals in May ceremony at gymnastics. I wasn't sure it could be topped, because after all a metal is BIG stuff! I was wrong.

This week we attended our first ever homeschool olympic day, and what a day it was! Thankfully dear hubby was able to attend. I am not sure how I would have done it without him, so here is a shout out to all you brave mama's who went at it alone. My daughter was signed up for three events, we were hoping she would do good in at least one.

Did she show us! One Blue ribbon, one red, and the biggest smile you have ever seen this side of the Mississippi.

I could have left after the first line up I was so giddy with excitement at her being the tallest girl on the line. It took all I had not to fall flat on my face and Praise the Lord above at the miracle healing taking place in her little body. I kept saying 'Look at her, she is the TALLEST, she is a head taller than everyone, she is the TALLEST! Look, do you see her, do you see?!'

My daughter was diagnosed with Crohn's at the age of two. She wasn't growing and had malnutrition, the medical evidence said she would never catch back up growth wise, I guess the Lord said different!

Then after getting 1st place, yes 1st place, in the kangaroo jump I almost became one of those mom's I use to roll my eyes at. I wanted to shout 'SHE DID ALL THIS DESPITE ILLNESS!' But then I realized, it was just a kangaroo jump, and that might embarrass my family, and well i really didn't want the other kids to feel bad, and I probably should stick to my van ride lecture that morning about how winning didn't really matter as long as we had fun and a grown women running around taunting other parents didn't really fit in with that mornings speech. SOOOO I refrained. There was a LOT of hugging, laughing, and high fiving going on though! I think we have a new annual family event.

Go to Me My Kids Teacher for another great mommy's take of the day!

It's not about me

2008-05-16T23:03:00.000-05:00

Recently I forgot a birthday party. It was for a friends son. It was on my radar the entire week, until the actual day, and then that part of my brain became non functioning or frazzled or who knows what and I blew it. The next day when the mother called I was chatty Cathy, still not cluing in to my mishap, when she politely said 'What happened to you all yesterday?'

You would think this would kick my non-functioning brain segment into full gear, but no. Maybe it was on strike because of the reality TV I had feed it that weekend against my better judgment.

'Yesterday?' I replied. The part of my brain still functioning is now scanning an inventory of yesterdays non eventful events and wondering what sort of gossip had gotten around about me and mines to make her think something big, something wonderful, something awful, something worth mentioning had occurred to ME not only 24 hours ago.

'The birthday party?'

Oh No, it wasn't about me at all, it was about them. I messed up. After a much to lengthy explanation of my brains prolapse, along with the heart felt apologies from one mommy's heart, I realized I was now going to have to tell my daughter. That should be punishment enough.

'Ahh-hmm (me clearing my throat), we missed Drew's birthday party yesterday, I totally forgot it.' (cowering in the corner waiting for response)

'MOOOOMMMMMM!!! How could you do that? This was an important day for Drew. It is his birthday and he was nice to invite us, and he was wanting us to be there. And it was special for him. And you told him we would come so he was probably sad that we didn't. He was probably waiting for us the whole time. His birthday party is special and you just forgot.'

'I know, I'm sorry.' me

'And besides all that, I would have liked to have gone.'

Did you catch that? The six year old understood that it wasn't about her. Her first thoughts were not of herself, they were of others. Maybe that brain of mine wasn't on strike after all, maybe it was a little to busy being a little to concerned with someone it thinks about a little to much-moi'.

The Warrior

2008-05-11T00:45:00.001-05:00

I am not really sure how it all started. Maybe it was the rising cost of groceries and gas spurring on my need to be creatively frugal. Maybe it was listening to my pastor speak into the testosterone pumping hearts of Warriors. Maybe it was the continuous playing potty song running through this little head of mine every night while watching the clock tick away my precious sleep. Whatever it was I was desperate, I needed a new angle. This pee pee in the potty thing was at a stand still. The usuals were failing.

That's when it happened. Free Pull Ups you say? I HUGE bag of them? What's the catch? They are pink with princesses and flowers on them? No worries, I'll take them he won't even notice.

He noticed. He wanted Spiderman. Until...

He became a WARRIOR! See Warrior's protect Princesses. You can protect them by keeping them dry. That is what all Warrior's do, don't pee on princesses, oh I mean protect their princesses. Protect.

He bought it, he loved, he pulled down his pants and told everyone who would listen how he was a Warrior protecting those princesses! Talk about some strange looks! Give me a break people, did I mention they were free? Have you seen gas prices? Have you bought milk lately? Have you heard the potty song?

Prayer

2008-05-08T17:04:00.001-05:00

In a study of the prayers in the bible I happened upon the book of Ephesians. I read two of the prayers and thought 'That is it! That is what I have been trying to pray for my family!' I have worded Ephesians 1:17-19 3:16-19 into a prayer for my family that I have commited to pray everyday. I am boiling with anticipation of things to come! Join me?

'I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give my family the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that we may know Him better. I pray that the eyes of our hearts may be enlightened in order that we may know the hope to which He has called us, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.' 'I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen us with power through His Spirit in our inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. And I pray that my family, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.'

What more is there really?

Pacifiers

2008-04-29T23:06:00.000-05:00

Pacify:
1. to bring or restore to a state of peace or tranquillity
2. to appease
Synonyms 2. soothe, mollify, assuage

What do you pacify yourself with?
Is it the obvious ones; alcohol, drugs, cigarettes?
Or the not so obvious; ice cream, sleep, movies?
Maybe it is the ones you have never even considered as pacifying; compliments from others, daydreaming, shopping, exercise?

When we lay our pacifiers down, and turn to the Lord-that is when we are restored to a true state of peace and tranquillity.

"The Lord your God is with you He is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Text Society

2008-04-23T22:35:00.000-05:00

I have cause for concern. With all of our 'communication' tools I fear we are loosing the ability to truly communicate. I know, why am I telling the blog crowd about this right? Learn how to pick an audience I must, but really I am concerned.

Case in point
'My husband and I are in a huge fight.' (friend)
'Oh no, I'm sorry, have you two talked about it.' (me)
'Yeah, I mean, well we texted about it, so I feel better.'(friend)
'Well that's good, then you two can just talk about it when you see him?'(me)
'No, I'll probably just let it go until it happens again.'(friend)

Now for my confession, I have done it myself-try and work out an argument by fragmented, misspelled, 15 word text back and forth, it seems great at the time. No heated emotions, no tears, no need to apologize to someones face. I'll admit it, it is a faster, easier way to deal with people. Cleaner, no mess.

If our society no longer communicates in person, we no longer have to watch how we say something, or see the effect our words have on one another. We no longer have to deal with our pride and say 'I'm sorry.' Through texting we are under the impression that we are communicating, but isn't there more to communication than words? What happens to a society that is under the heading of the 'communication age' but has no real skills at communicating? What will that do to marriages, families, siblings, and our church's? Could this already be a factor in the decline of relationship we are seeing? It must be.

I offer no solution, only my concern.

Aunt Sissy

2008-04-21T14:27:00.000-05:00

A year ago today my sweet aunt sissy passed away unexpectedly from complications of a surgery. I saw her that day, I was worried. I left to go to work, promising my return after my 3-11 shift. She was sleeping when I left the hospital. I didn't want to wake her. I was about to get on the elevator. Something told me to go back. I went back to her room, woke her up, looked her in the eyes and told her I loved her. How glad I am I went back, that was the last time I saw her alive. It has been a hard year. I miss her. Even though I couldn't even begin to do her justice on this short page, let me tell you a little bit about her.

Her name was and always will be Aunt Sissy to me. Most importantly, she loved Jesus and her family. She loved me inside and out. She was disappointed in me in my younger days, but always found a way to let me know she still loved me. She was a great mom, wife, sister, Mimi, and aunt. She loved to swim, and opened her pool to us anytime. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of time I spent there. All of my friends knew her, because they too were always welcome. We would open a can of pop from her cabana, pick out whichever snack of the week sounded good, and soak up some rays. Aunt sissy would come out and sit or swim with us. First with my friends, then with my husband, then she would hold the baby for me, then she would swim with the kids. Like I said, I can't even begin to tell you how much time I logged at her pool. We laughed a lot. She shared her wisdom on marriage with me (she was very happily married for 40 years).

The times I miss her most are after doctors appt. She always wanted updates on my daughters health issues. She celebrated the good with me, she cried over the sad. No matter what type of news my calls were bringing, she always ended the call with what a good job I was doing as a mother. For some reason, on those days, I need to hear that.

When my 2 year old daughter was laying on a hospital bed, and the Dr. called my husband and me back to tell us what the test had shown, there came Aunt Sissy back right along with us. No one could have stopped her if they wanted to, that's just how she was. I didn't really realize she had come back at first, but when I saw the Dr. coming I remember turning around and looking at her. Her presence was such a comfort. I love this memory. It is so her, forceful, non yielding, maybe even butting in, yet loving, comforting, present.

She started an amazing ministry called UR Special to help children with their self esteems. This was something she struggled with herself, her self esteem. She took her struggle and turned it into good, clothing 21,000 children in the Edmond, OK area. Not just clothing them, but making them feel special. It really is an incredible ministry, check it out.

So Aunt Sissy, it isn't good bye, it is see ya soon. We miss you. We love you. Life is different without you. We will all be together with our Savior one day. Thanks for always loving me. Thanks for all the memories. I love you!

Haircut

2008-04-17T08:50:00.001-05:00

When your hair looks like this

Then people start to say things like "What a sweet girl" or "She has beautiful hair"

This is okay for a little while, but eventually it starts to bother mommy's and daddy's. So you give in, shed a few tears, and do this.

The final result is, not so bad...

Plant Update

2008-04-15T00:24:00.000-05:00

For those of you who read Learning to Learn, I know you were up last night worrying over whether Ms. Plant Killer here had remembered, or even known, to bring in her plants so they wouldn't freeze. Well my sweet sis-in-law called and told me I should bring them in so I did. Thanks sis! I hope they make it, they aren't looking to lively, but hey I am trying something new and learning as I go.

What did you do with those huge gardens all you green thumbers have planted out back?